I was digging around on my hard drive today looking for a document on which I typed some notes from a phone call. I still cannot find it, frustratingly, but came across something else that I’d totally forgotten about. I wrote it almost exactly three years ago in response to a question posed in The Right to Write: An Invitation and Initiation into the Writing Life
She asked: What are the stories you’d like to hear?
I answered:
- I’d like to hear a story about a woman who lived life larger than ever when she made hard choices.
- I’d like to hear a story about two young girls who grew up in the midst of a divorce but became amazingly strong, accomplished, satisfied women.
- I’d like to hear a story about a woman who dreamed of being a writer and became one.
- I’d like to hear a story about a woman who chose to take risks with the Biblical text and her understandings of God and stepped into a life that was far richer than she’d ever imagined.
- I’d like to hear a story about a woman who fell in love with a man who didn’t want less of her but called forth more and more all the time.
Some context:
- I wrote this just one month before my divorce was final after having made incredibly difficult choices with vast ramifications.
- My daughters spun in the confusion and ache of a broken family.
- I did not actually consider myself a writer of any caliber, import, or meaningful content.
- I was afraid that if I risked interpreting (or writing anew) from the Biblical text that I’d be dismissed by those more religious and ignored by those more spiritual (or not spiritual at all); that a reframed understanding and experience of the Divine was a wish and a prayer.
- I couldn’t imagine that relationship with a man was possible in which I wouldn’t be compromised or lose too much of myself in the midst.
More context.
- I now live a life larger than I ever expected precisely because I made hard choices, risked, and trusted my self.
- I have two daughters who are growing into strong, incredible young women.
- I am a writer.
- My understanding of God (and particularly the Sacred Feminine) is far richer than I could have imagined; enhanced and expanded through amazing conversation and relationship with others in virtual and face-to-face worlds; rewriting/reframing traditional texts has been met with not only affirmation but the articulated desire for more.
- I have known love and heartache both, learning that I am not only worth loving, but that I am not “too much,” and indeed, that I deserve and call forth far more, not less.
I am so struck by this. Three years. A relatively simple question. Answers I’d totally discarded. And stories that have all now been told.
What are the stories I’d like to hear now? A future post, no doubt.
What are the stories you’d like to hear?Apparently there is something to making that list (and maybe even remembering that you saved the document). Who knew?
Each of us has an inner dream that we can unfold if we will just have the courage to admit what it is. And the faith to trust our own admission. The admitting is often very difficult.
(Julie Cameron)
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{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
Do you believe that sometimes you see things, read things at the exact time you need to see them? I am you three years ago and you cannot imagine how reassuring it is to see the other side of these hard decisions. I am currently in the midst of a divorce, have 2 young children, getting ready to sit for the bar exam, on the verge of so many changes it is mind blowing, all because of my hard choices. And it’s scary and exciting and lonely and exhilarating. Thanks for being an example of what is possible.
So mind-boggling, Kim; both my own revelation of three years ago and now, as well as the synchronicity with your story. Thanks for sharing it/your with me. It confirms that I’m on the right track, doing the right thing, following my heart. Always easier said than done…And you? I hope you know much reassurance, much confidence, and much comfort in the midst of all this. I wonder what would happen if you did the same thing as me: wrote out your answers to “What are the stories you’d like to hear?” And then maybe don’t forget you answered them…
Again, so grateful.
Ronna – First, thank you for sharing. You are never “too much!” Second, you have pushed me to pick up that Cameron book that I haven’t touched in ages to read more. And, lastly tonight, thank you for these words, “a man who didn’t want less of her but called forth more and more all the time” as they describe a part of a relationship of mine that I have been trying to see more clearly. Now, I am!
Nicki´s last [type] ..Sports Fanatic
As always, thanks Nicki. And ahhhh, Cameron. Who can resist?
May that man, indeed, call forth more and more (and/or may you find him in the first place)!!!
Hello dear Ronna!
I am awe-struck by this post! Your story is an incredible testament to the power of the written word and our ability to achieve our dreams even if we can’t see the “how” at the time we are defining them. After reading the wisdom of Cameron’s words and *yours,* I am inspired to tell more of the stories I’d like to hear. And I can’t wait to hear more of yours!!! Thanks so much and much love, s
Thanks, Stacey. It is pretty amazing, isn’t it? Honestly…I had to check the date on the document more than once! Thanks for expressing your inspiration. Can’t wait to hear the stories you want to hear…and those you are yet to tell!
I think it’s time I pick up my Cameron book again as well. What an interesting post and fabulous timing of course! I overslept yesterday, which left me wide awake at 4am playing mind games with myself. I had so many thoughts rolling through my brain, and I even thought at one point, ‘is it common for people to think of something, and it not represent their truth at all, and to feel ashamed of these thoughts?’ This led me to want to ‘name’ that vicious part of me… so I can differentiate who ‘she’ is and who ‘I’ am. I didn’t come up with a name yet, but I think it will help me differentiate those thoughts from my own truth.
I also am stuck in a place where I’m wondering if I’m waiting for something to happen so I can start living, start doing the things I want to do. But I need some things to fall into place and they simply haven’t yet. I cannot control that, but it indeed hinders my ability to be/do the things I want to do. I don’t like to feel that I’m waiting to start living, and I have to figure out a way to change that while still allowing certain things to remain on the back burner.
I would wonder what would happen, Sera, if – at least for starters – you let yourself just write what things would look like if you had started living, if you were doing the things you wanted to do, if things had fallen into place. That, in and of itself, begins to move our consciousness into new spaces. Further, it allows even more clarity around the “voice” differentiation you speak of. I did a lot of talking to myself in days past; often violent, but later kinder and more affirming; finally, bringing the voices into unison…and using my out-loud voice in my world. But that took a lot of time, a lot of support, a lot…
Just want you to know you’re on the path…and you’re not alone. I’m trackin…
Oh, one last thing (for now): I, like you, spent a lot of time in my head trying to “figure out a way” for SO MANY things. I needed to move from a space of having everything figured out to acknowledging what was and then just moving into it. No amount of my mental work changed anything. I had to change. I had to act. I had to live. Easier said than done…but with perspective, the thing I couldn’t see at the time…Again, you’re not alone.
Some of the stories I’d like to hear challenge societal expectations I’ve allowed to weasel into my world, while others simply clash with the way life is right now.
Nevertheless, these are the stories my heart longs to hear:
I’d like to hear a story about a woman excelling in her career, despite the economic hardship.
I’d like to hear a story about a woman continuing to utilize that which is unique about her.
I’d like to hear a story about a woman making peace with the concept of marriage in this day and age, and what that means in her own life.
I’d like to hear a story about a woman truly dependent on no one but herself.
I’d like to hear a story about a woman starting the family she’s always dreamed about, that her gut won’t let her deny.
I’d like to hear a story about a woman feeling at peace with herself, her choices, and her relationships.
Someday, these are the stories I hope to tell.
A definite exercise in TRUTH.
And, in my opinion, truth does not disappoint. You’re on the path, woman! And not alone…
All fabulous stories, Sera. Ones most definitely worth telling…and living. Thanks for having the courage to post them here! Someday is already on the way.
Your questions are inspiring to me…I have a play that I’m working on that reinterprets bible text…someday I hope it will be something that you’ll see and enjoy once it’s alive on stage!
Oooh, Deidre. I’d love to see/hear more, for sure! Keep me posted!!!
Hello everyone.
I’d like to hear the story that we as women intimately know and have faith in a power within ourselves that is stronger than fear, a strength that will hold the table when a sense of unworthiness sits down as an uninvited guest, a power that comforts us, holds us steady, and carries us forward. I’d love to hear the story that we believe in and trust in this inner power so that we do not suffer so much along the way. Carrie
So beautiful, Carrie. I’m hopeful that you’ve had glimpses of this story already in your life and that is what has created the desire for so much more. And your words compel me. They remind me of what I want to be about, write about, speak about. Thank you. May your story be more than a tale; rather, a truth.
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