Upside Down and Backwards

Advent Reflections, 2007

Thursday, December 13 – Scripture Readings:
Psalm 38:1-18; Amos 9:1-10; Revelation 2:8-17; Matthew 23:13-26

Some words from today’s psalm:

Do not fret because of evil men
or be envious of those who do wrong;
for like the grass they will soon wither,
like green plants they will soon die away.
Trust in the Lord and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
Delight yourself in the Lord
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord;
trust in him and he will do this:
He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn,
the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.
Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when men succeed in their ways,
when they carry out their wicked schemes.
Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;
do not fret – it leads only to evil. (1-8)

As I read this I was struck by the verbs – and the order in which they are used:
Do not fret
Trust in the Lord
Do good
Dwell in the land
Enjoy safe pasture
Delight yourself in the Lord
Commit your way to the Lord
Trust in him
Be still before the Lord
Wait patiently
Do not fret
Refrain from anger
Turn from wrath
Do not fret

Were I to make some application from this (no surprise that this is what I might do!) I’d have to look at the fact that both the beginning and end of this passage admonish me to not fret – to not worry. Hmmm. ‘Might be some application there!

It’s after being called to not worry that I’m then invited to trust, delight, commit, be still, and wait patiently. This begs the question: Do I, do we, have things a bit backwards? My inner dialogue, whether with myself or with God, goes more like this: “If I trust in You, delight in You, and commit myself to You then you’ll take away the things I worry about, right?!? I’ve done my part, now You do yours.” As I’ve stated before, what I intellectually know and understand theologically disputes this line of thinking; but when I’m honest, this is the order of things I want and often demand.

Instead, I’m being called to first not worry. From such I’ll know trust, experience and express delight, more easily and readily commit my ways to the Lord, and need I even say it: be still and wait patiently! Upside down and backwards.

And yet, as I read and interpret Scripture, as well as my own life, this is the very way in which God seems to work, to relate, to interact, even to intervene and become incarnate (again and again): upside down and backwards.

I know this, have experienced it, have talked about it to others, written about it, and done a lot of good, hard work with my spiritual director to accept it and still I want God to make sense, to do things the way I want them! It’s amazing to me – this ongoing demand I have that God fit my image, be the idol I’ve created, morph in ways that are all about me.

Advent, perhaps more profoundly than any other time in the church calendar, calls me (again and again) to recognize this upside-down and backwards God. A pregnant, young virgin; a reluctant “father,” visits from angels and scary dreams; no room in the inn; a baby born amidst stable animals; more angel visits and beckoned shepherds; wise men following a star. Upside down and backwards.

Maybe this Advent I’m invited (again and again) to wonder about how God might actually be far more present and active than I know – in the upside-down and backwards realities of my day-to-day life vs. fretting and worrying. Maybe?!? I think so. I know so.

How kind of God to ever be calling me (again and again) to a different lens on my own reality and that of those around me; to invite me to a way of being in relationship with God that lets go of worry so that I can know trust, delight, commitment, stillness, and patience. Those are Christmas gifts I deeply long for.

Upside down and backwards is where and how I show up, Ronna (again and again). After all, I am Emmanuel, God-with-you. There is no need to fret.

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