TELLING THE TRUTH
The truth? I am surrounded by amazing women who speak the truth to me, who say the things I most need to hear, who encourage, who push, who motivate, who compel, who support, who love, who kick my ass! My friend Andrea has done a lot of that with/for me the past couple days (love you, Andrea!). My sister Lorri did last weekend (love you, Lorri!). And tonight, Kelly Diels.
“Just got off the phone with her. Love you, Kelly!
Me: in a funk, feeling overwhelmed, anxious about way too many things.
Kelly: perfect timing, calling to check in, totally inspiring me, making me laugh, and inviting me to spaces I need and want to inhabit! She’s a goddess, pure brilliance, and attached to me at some mysterious soul level.
And, if all this weren’t enough, the woman tells the truth!
As was true with Thursday’s post, I have had many ideas swimming in my head for today’s, but Kelly has said more than enough. Click. Read (truly…it will take you 5 seconds, max) and discuss. Here. There. Both.
And after you read her post (which, did I mention, will take you 5 seconds, max?) think about this:
How does Kelly’s truth-telling impact you? Do you cringe? Do you resonate? Do you breathe deep? Do you wonder how she does it? Do you wish you could?
I’d love to hear your answers. They matter. Telling the truth matters. Your truth matters – no matter what it is! Tell it!!!
Undoubtedly, I have more of my own to tell. More blog posts to write. More content to create. Thanks Andrea. Thanks Lorri. Thanks Kelly.
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I’m sure that many a person will assume that I’m a victim, that I’m distraught, that I’m not valuing myself, and that some man is doing me wrong. None of that is true (or at least not unequivocably true. ahem).
…and I will write another post that gives my piece a context…
But sometimes bald, provocative and uncomfortable get us off our leashes or at least gets us talking. Truth-telling.
I promise: I know exactly what this situation is. I declared to myself, to him, to the world, what is and is not okay with me. And I will get what I want and what I deserve. I almost always do.
That’s what makes this post – and you so beautiful, Kelly. You know the reality and name it. You know the risks and take them. You know what you want and don’t back down. You tell the truth! And, in so doing, you inspire me. Thank you.
I think telling the truth is essential. Also discretion.
But you don’t get anywhere at all until you can tell the truth to yourself.
Jeannie recently posted..The 21.5.800 experience
Absolutely, Jeannie. It’s a fine line, isn’t it: between truth and discretion? Or, maybe better said, it’s about the “who” to whom truth is told.
Yes. Yes. Yes. First and foremost to self and then our innate and inherent wisdom is in full-force inviting us to the places in which our truth will (or at least needs to be) heard.
I am in love with the Truth. My truth (little t) changes, as I supposed it is destined to. Being that I am a wild woman and all.
My truth about polyamory and alternatives to monogamy is a little foggy recently. In theory I believe monogomy is destined to self destruct. I think flexibility is necessary at various stages to refocus, reignite, remember… but in practice – my monogamy looks like it would break apart from the pressure if we tried to broaden its boundaries.
The more women who tell the truth about the taboo subjects the more permissive the atmosphere becomes for personal inquiry in private and public.
This is such a tricky and volatile topic, isn’t it, Rachael? The second we speak our little-t truth in this realm, said-Capital-T truth shows up and creates all kind of havoc. And always, at least for me, more than where we land on any particular topic – no matter how volatile – is that we, indeed, create an atmosphere that is welcoming, inviting, and inclusive for more-more-more conversation! SO glad you’re here…speaking your Truth and your truth – and being a wild woman!!! All so good!
We all need to tell our truth. And when we do, we want someone there who will accept it as the Truth.
Siddhartha recently posted..Why You Don’t Need Passion To Be Successful
Absolutely! Saw your comment on Kelly’s blog…and then her response. SO thoughtful of you to care for her – and speak to such AND, as she articulated, all is good. Grateful you’re there…and now here!
truth and/or discretion….
propeht and/or healer….
reality and/or dreams….
Holding the ambiguity proves to be the hardest thing I’ve ever tried to do.
Renae C recently posted..Break Time
Mmmmm. Absolutely, Renae. Ambiguity is the hardest – and most “true” realities of life. And…I think all of your binaries above are “ands.” For sure.
“And… I think all of your binaries above are ‘ands.’ For sure.”
I agree completely. In a book called Fierce Conversations, the author makes the point that two ideas that seem to conflict can all be part of the same reality, and usually are. She therefore encourages the removal of “but” from our language, and that we replace it with “and”. It really does change the tone and direction of conversations, which are the substance of all our relationships. It opens up people and possibilities in really unexpected ways.
I should probably get back to that book soon and finish it someday. It’s pretty intense!
Jeannie recently posted..The 21.5.800 experience
How wild is this?!? I just did a series of posts on Susan Scott’s Fierce Conversations for members of A Conversational Space. And LOVE this idea. No more with “but!”
Telling the truth is good. Really good for everybody but most especially, it is good for yourself.
But, I often struggle to find the right words to tell the truth in a manner that it will not hurt the very people I depend on most. For me, that is my greatest challenge. Being physically dependent on others often leaves me in a very precarious position. But in the end, the truth is the only thing that sets me free.
Tracy Todd recently posted..Marathon Of Life
Thanks for this, Tracy. I’m thinking of doing some writing/thinking around the topic of tact vs. truth. They are not exactly the same. One cannot be compromised. The other can be applied. ‘Appreciate, as always, your perspective, your voice, your presence.
Monogamy and polyamory are not actually mutually exclusive. However, in practice, there needs to be a tremendous amount of respect for each other and for yourself, a complete lack of hidden agenda, and an understanding that as new experiences dictate, the rules can change.
It can seem precarious at times, but for us and our 27 years together, it has been primarily an enjoyable and life-affirming occasional activity. Are there rules? Oh, baby, there are some big rules. And a lot of open communication. If you’re thinking you might try this as part of your own relationship I suggest you never let go of your right to change your mind at any time. And always understand that emotions, rational or not, are the god and goddess of every relationship. Disrespect those emotions at your own peril.
Hugs and butterflies,
~T~
Talking the talk is easy. Walking the walk is a whole ‘nother thing.
My requirement is emotional fidelity. What happens in Vegas? Whatever.
Always, always the cliche (and reality) of “easier said than done.” It for sure applies in this realm. And I’m with you, Dave on the what-happens-in-Vegas thing. No thanks. I want it all – all the time: truth, desire, hope, passion, integrity. Too much to ask? Maybe. But I’m still holding out…
Rules. Open communication. God and goddess of every relationship. All such powerful – and clearly hard-earned, practiced stuff for you, Teresa. LOVE that! Thanks for your honest and open communication here!!! I’m grateful. Truth. Truth. Truth!!!
My blog has been, for almost three years, the well of my truth. I have poured my stories into it. It has connected me to my tribe. And it has helped me to heal myself.
Nowadays I am trying to live with that truth every day and also to create the life I want. I find that I am no longer afraid of asking for true-ness (truity?) from others. It’s incredibly powerful.
I am SO there, Sas. I think I stepped into my own well of truth just before my blogging, but it existed primarily in my own heart (and with an amazing therapist as well as a spiritual director). From there, to the blog – a space of exploration into realms of truth and voice that was new, vast, and oh-so-healing. And then, yes, into relationships, day-to-day life, everything!
You’ve taken this even further: from speaking your own truth to asking for “truity” from others. So, so good. And yes, so powerful! The two cannot be separated. Thank you!
Funny but the funk I was in when I first started reading your blog was over the truth in a relationship probably similar to Kelly’s. I realized mid-game that I was not a many-man woman but a one-man woman and that made him uneasy. We told each other the truth and then didn’t talk to each other for several months. Now we are back to being friends and being very truthful about where we see our individual futures going.
Nicki recently posted..Recharging
Truth “in” relationship sometimes leads to being “out” of relationship, doesn’t it? Painful, but still SO important to know, speak, live. So grateful that you’ve found conversation and friendship on the other side, Nicki…
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