The chosen phrase I’ve attached to Lent – for this blog/vlog series – for this season – for myself:
…to create, to take what we find in the shadows of our lives and craft what never before has been seen.
(Jan Richardson)
I’ve grounded these words in the terrain of the desert. I’ve been considering what it means to acknowledge its harshness, its scarcity, its heat; what it means to acknowledge our resistance to such. And I’ve been thinking much about shadows; about the aspects of our lives we hide, keep small and silent, push down and within for fear of their power and impact if released.
Though painful, it is the very naming of these things in raw and arid spaces that enables our (re)birth, our (re)formation. In the acknowledgment of deeper truths, deeper desires, deeper hope, we create – whether aware and conscious of such, or not.
We become in the desert. We create ourselves.
Some would say that it is only in such wilderness places, metaphorically speaking, that creativity fully ascends. Consider the stereotype of the “tortured artist:” in places of angst, grief, and personal tragedy the best imaginings and manifestations come forth. Wikipedia tells us that tortured artists “feel alienated and misunderstood due to the perceived ignorance or neglect of others who do not understand them and the things they feel are important.” Examples are legion, but include Vincent Van Gogh, Ernest Hemingway, Frida Kahlo, and Virginia Woolf. They’ve known the desert all too well and in such, have created some of our wildest beauty.
Creation, it seems to me, often comes from a place of deep need – of an intense drive to articulate something of personal import whether understood and accepted or not. Ultimately, it is less about the “end product” or how it is received, and more about the process of expression itself. This is why the desert matters.
In the desert we are, whether aware of such or not, expressing and creating ourselves, “to take what we find in the shadows of our lives and craft what never before has been seen.” Our striving and struggle is an effort to be seen, understood, and accepted in all our wild beauty. In the process, as we traverse the hot sands, we know alienation and misunderstanding, and we keep moving deeper and more passionately toward honest, vulnerable, risky, and brave self-expression.We create ourselves.
Creativity – like human life itself – begins in darkness.
(Julie Cameron)
No doubt: in the desert we know much darkness. And from it, comes life – bursting forth in unexpected and surprising ways. Wild beauty.
For your reflection:
- How do you initially respond to the idea of the desert being a necessary space of creation; potentially one of the only spaces in which we can express and create ourselves?
- Can you relate to the imagery of the tortured artist when it comes to your own self-expression: misunderstood and potentially alienated?
- Is it possible that in such a place the truest and most powerful expression and creation of “you” might come forth? Can you name the wild beauty you are becoming in the desert? What does she speak? How does she move? Who does she impact?
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The desert is a necessary place for creation to occur. Unless there is a desert and the accompanying desperation/motivation, no creation is necessary. I love the connection with desert and darkness, and I would add to that even a touch of depression and something dying (inside of a person) before a new creation (new life) can spring forth. When all is well and nothing is dying in the desert, nothing is created to replace that which is dying.
I never thought of myself as an artist, but I can certainly relate to the idea of the tortured artist who knows what’s inside trying desperately to come into being when few are supportive of such a “risky” desperate attempt to give birth to something new. Practicality over passion and joy seems to be the mantra of the status quo. Anything less than practicality, and you’ve lost touch with reality, according to them.
Only when the desperation of being in the desert set in was I compelled to identify what my passions and desires really are. That process led to the creation of a dream, and continues to be my rein when an invitation to “go back” comes my way.
Can you name the wild beauty you are becoming in the desert? Desert Lily: A fragrant flower that may remain in the ground for several years, waiting for enough moisture to emerge.
What does she speak? Joy and Love
How does she move? with graceful freedom
Who does she impact? Those who choose life and passion over stale practicality.
Angie Cox´s last blog ..Just a Little Talk with Jesus
OK Angie (or Lily): Choosing life and passion over stale practicality. Moving with graceful freedom. Speaking joy and love. You are a wild beauty!
I love Jan RIchardson. Right off the bat, I’m with you … And the desert is a very sacred place for me. I was born and raised in South Africa and sometimes my soul years for the semi–desert we have there, called the Karoo. Physically, emotionally and spiritually, I definitely need desert times. I had one of those days yesterday and it causes me to go deep … to where the water is.
So glad we connected.
idelette´s last blog ..Do Women Not Hold up Half the Kingdom?
I’m glad you’ve discovered the water, Idelette – sometimes so deep underground we don’t have the patience or stamina to find it, wait for it, dig for it…or trust that a well will appear just when needed. And I’m glad we’ve discovered each other! More desert companions!
This reminds me of the Frederick Buechner quote…
“In many cultures there is an ancient custom of giving a tenth of each year’s income to some holy use. For Christians, to observe the forty days of Lent is to do the same thing with roughly a tenth of each year’s days. After being baptized by John in the river Jordan, Jesus went off alone into the wilderness where he spent forty days asking himself the question what it meant to be Jesus. During Lent, Christians are supposed to ask one way or another what it means to be themselves…To hear yourself answer (such a question) is to begin to hear something not only of who you are but of both what you are becoming and what you are failing to become. It can be a pretty depressing business all in all, but if sackcloth and ashes are at the start of it, something like Easter may be at the end of it.”
Thanks, Heather. I love Buechner! And love this: “what it means to be (our)selves.” Indeed – the question of Lent and always.
“…an intense drive to articulate something of personal import whether understood and accepted or not. Ultimately, it is less about the “end product” or how it is received, and more about the process of expression itself.”
Yes, yes and yes! I think it has been a HUGE step for me to realize that the means and the end do not have to be connected. I do not need a guarantee of acceptance and approval before I can unleash my message into the world. What a freeing discovery that has been!
1. My initial response has often been a sort of resignation. By that I mean, I’ve resigned myself to the fact that the desert will certainly always be a part of my personal landscape, as I seem to be someone who feels everything deeply, questions everything thoroughly, and makes a sport of excessive introspection. The sum total of those parts seems to be that I spend large doses of time in desert places. I have more than once told my husband that I wished I could give up my perceptive and inquisitive nature, in favor of a less troubled mind/life. But really, if I dig deep down inside of myself, that’s not true. Because the *beauty* that blossoms out of living lots of seasons in the dessert, is that I have much to offer to others who hurt. And really, wasn’t the ministry of Jesus Himself all about touching the infirm, the wounded, and the hurting?
2. Yes. ’nuff said. And it is only *now* (one the verge of 31 years old) that I have tapped the inner strength that allows me to be content, even THRILLED, with that status. Or lack thereof
3. YES! It’s not merely possible, it’s guaranteed. The wild beauty I am becoming is uninhibited. Unafraid. She dances with abandon and sings at the top of her lungs. IN PUBLIC. She struts her stuff shamelessly. She doesn’t hesitate to speak- of joy or pain, of her weaknesses OR her fantastic and unique strengths! She is just as proud to be sexy as she is to be spiritual. She is thoughtful and tolerant, patient and unapologetic, meditative and irreverent. She is *both* strikingly gentle and breathtaking in her strength, and knows you can have it both ways. She is filled up to overflowing, and holds it all with the generosity of open hands. And she impacts both those who are unafraid to listen, AND those who have been scared shitless, but are ready and willing to slowly shed their timidness in exchange for a rich and rewarding new way of life!!!
lauren martin gauthier´s last blog ..Sunday
OK…I just want to read paragraph #3 over and over again – for myself and to make sure that it’s truth and beauty is cemented in the universe as happening for you! SO powerful, Lauren. I cannot imagine being able to articulate such at 31…now at 49…and am SO grateful on your behalf – and for your presence here. Thank you!
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