TELLING THE TRUTH
I talk about telling the truth all the time. It matters to me. I’ve spent too many years of my life with it buried inside. Not lying, per se; rather, keeping my truest thoughts and emotions concealed under acceptable behavior, expected relational patterns, even religious appropriateness. I don’t do that anymore. But with that s-l-ow-l-y learned change, comes cost. I paid that price literally this week.
The details don’t matter. Point A: Speaking gig scheduled. Point Z: Speaking gig canceled (well, just me…not the event).
In between A and Z was a moment of truth.
Moment of truth: Will you say what needs to be heard or what needs to be said?
They are not always the same thing. I went with the latter. Full of cost: money, time, future business. Ouch.
Faith. Feminism. Telling the Truth. Like playing cards in my hand. Would I lay down all three? Or would I gamble, pick, and choose? Everything in me was called forth in that moment of truth. I chose to reveal the house, to turn them all face-up, to keep nothing hidden, nothing concealed. Beauty showed up.
I found myself in an excruciating space and realized that the things that matter to me, the themes around which I build my life, my relationships, my very soul were showing up—reminding me that they are present, that they matter, that I’m sheltered in the very eye of their gathering storm of swirling power, strength, and yes, beauty.
And then, if that realization were not enough, more beauty showed up. A dear and amazing warrior-of-a-friend went into battle. She rallied the troops. She articulated a plan for eliminating (or at least significantly reducing) my financial loss. And she’s hot on the trail of creating another event, another space in which I can speak my truth – all my cards revealed. (Let me know if you’re in the Seattle area on May 29! 20 tickets will be made available for a lovely evening of Drinks in the Desert.)
And until I typed those last four words I had not realized this: I am in the desert—again. Truth consistently drives/invites me there. And beauty endlessly, stunningly, tenderly shows up.
Truth. Cost. Beauty.
The longer I type, the longer I process, the more I realize that I’m in this powerful, palpable space of the Sacred Feminine yet again. I am staggered by this truth, this beauty. That’s what this is, you know? That’s who this is. The Sacred Feminine has come alongside and is revealed in moments of truth. The Sacred Feminine strengthens and comforts in places of cost. The Sacred Feminine imbues beauty.
The truth: full of cost and beauty. And the sweet spot, the rich vein where the Sacred Feminine exists, emerges, and reminds me that I am not alone.
A postscript: I had intended to write far more about the circumstances surrounding this week’s events; the specifics of our differing truths. But as I created this post I realized that such was not necessary; that my truth (and both its cost and beauty) are no less so – and perhaps even stronger – when I choose to not articulate blame or any other combination of emotions I’ve felt these past days. The lure is great: to rage, to cry about injustice, to be a victim. All of these responses have been mine and, to some degree, are even appropriate and important. But I’m far more compelled by the strength imbued (there’s that word again: you should click on the link and read its definition. More beauty…) through the revealing and potent, fertile beauty and truth of the Sacred Feminine—again—in my presence.
The truth: full of cost and beauty. And the sweet spot, the rich vein where the Sacred Feminine exists, emerges, and reminds me that I am not alone.
Today, the reason we haven’t found our grail, the key to who we are as women, is because we look for it in worlds of false power, the very worlds that took it away from us in the first place. Neither men nor work can restore our lost scepter. Nothing in this world can take us home. Only the radar in our hearts can do that, and when it does, …’We will light up like lamps, and the world will never be the same again.’
(Marianne Williamson)
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{ 29 comments… read them below or add one }
I love that last quote.
But what really is resonating with me this morning is that little bit about saying what needs to be heard vs. saying what needs to be said. Last night I finally said what needed to be said, and it wasn’t what someone needed to hear. And I’m still feeling torn up about it…but I know that, ultimately, my truth is what is important. Listening to that truth, loving that truth…I need to do that more often.
.-= Alisha´s last blog ..My first Squarespace complaint =-.
I don’t know your circumstances, Alisah, but I most definitely know the feelings that accompany them. I’ve been there so many times: feeling the fear, the pain, the ambivalence, the temptation to doubt not so much our truth…but the costs. Know that you’re not alone. Truth matters.
Thank you, Ronna
you’re such a light, Ronna Detrick.
xo
Thank you, Danielle. It burns at times, but I’m grateful such is true.
I am so thrilled and excited for you! Not just for speaking your truth, but for standing on it and in it and letting it surround you — and not getting pulled into battling someone else’s stance or blaming or being the victim. Just taking that positive and strong stance, standing firmly in your truth. Awesome!! What an inspiration!
Thanks, Deb. It feels right – even if not easy. Which, is often the case, right?
Oh, yep. It most often is the case, which is why it’s so great you’re not only standing firm but sharing the story so that we all know we’re not alone when we do the same.
Thanks, Deb.
I love your blog, Ronna, because truth-telling is also very important to me. It’s also something I struggle with everyday.
I spent the first eighteen years of my life hiding truths: I spent all my energy hiding the horror behind closed doors, keeping my heart and soul a secret from even those closest to me. My first moment of truth was ripped from me – I didn’t want honesty. I was terrified. It was a painful process – like walking through fire. And just as beautiful.
Though the cost was high, higher than I imagined, honesty saved my soul and I’m grateful with every breath. Now I try to speak my truth everyday – even in a profession full of lies. I shackle myself to honesty: I wear a bracelet with a line from Shakespeare, “To thine own self be true,” to remind me that the weight of speaking my truth is lighter than the chains of a lie. I try to bring truth and beauty to my profession.
And you’re there with me everyday; a Muse to light the way. Thank you.
.-= April´s last blog ..Renaissance RE: Nescience =-.
Mmmm, April: massive story buried in these sentences, these lines, these words. And reading between them, I can hear your voice, feel your strength, taste your truth. I’m definitely with you. No doubt.
I so know where you are standing right now, Ronna. I know the costs associated with telling the truth and with telling what someone needs to hear instead of the truth. Both have costs but being able to live with myself after the costs makes all the difference.
Just know you are not alone.
.-= Nicki´s last blog ..Architectural Wonders =-.
I do know I’m not alone. That is gift, indeed. Thank you, Nicki.
Because I worry/nurture/care/facilitate/accommodate, I tend to say what (I think) needs to be heard. It leaves my heart and soul with an ache. That ache can only be relieved when I say what I need to say, regardless of whether anyone wants to hear it. And in the end, I find that they DO want to hear it. They wanted to hear it all along. Those close to me want to know me.
The ache in your heart and soul matter, Jesse. And what resides there does need to be heard – but never without risk, and sometimes cost. But your heart and soul are trust-worthy. Your truth is worth hearing, indeed.
Ronna, once again, a beautifully honest post. Thank you!
Isn’t it amazing how every time one thinks one holds all the cards, they begin playing chess.
.-= Tracy Todd´s last blog ..Turning-point… “Why Walk When You Can Soar”. =-.
I am so not a chess player; which may explain why I get so frustrated with the damn unspoken rules and want to break them all! Thanks, Tracy.
Beautiful post. And the quote is perfect “We will light up like lamps, and the world will never be the same again.’ I believe the world is never the same again, because we are never the same. Truth-telling is not only freeing and empowering–but a radical surgery on who we have presented as ourselves. And as raw as the new skin may feel–it is new skin. It is who we were meant to be. And there is no going back.
Thank you, Julianne. Yes…there is no going back. And that is a good, powerful, and beautiful thing.
You don’t know how much I needed to see that you started to write the details of your experience then changed your mind recognizing that it wasn’t going to be of benefit to do so…that it was enough to say, “I’m in the desert again because I told MY truth.” That is such a struggle for me. SUCH A STRUGGLE!!!! Funny thing, when I do write down the ugly details, I never quite feel right putting it out there, and if I do it anyway, the energy it generates just isn’t a good energy. Maybe the whole “you-attract-what-you-think-about-and-thank-about” thing is beginning to work on me.
I’m also intrigued by the concept of saying what needed to be said vs. saying what needed to be heard. I hope you’ll spend more time distinguishing those two in a future post. Saying what needs to be said vs. saying what they WANT to hear, I get, but your choice of words sounds different to me.
And that lost gig? Sounds like you’ve already discovered what we both know is promised…..whatever is taken from you will be replaced many times over.
Love, light, and many blessings to you and yours in coming weeks.
Thanks, Angie. So much. I sit in the tension often between what is true and what should be said – or at least how much. I’ve decided it’s less about protecting others and more about finding the truth under the truth; the place I most want to reside (and articulate). I fail, believe me. And…truth, no matter how its spoken, WILL be heard. Keep speaking it!
And thanks for the queue to think more about hearing/saying. I’ll think on that…I know I mean it; just need to build it out. ‘Appreciate you.
Your post reminded me of another that I had read a while back;
Here is the post; http://aplusk.posterous.com/a-brief-lesson-on-pain . The take away for me was “Don’t be a victim” There is victimization/wrongness, but don’t EVER STAY there!!
I am sorry to hear about the cancelation and loss, but so proud of you for taking the high road and moving forward. I believe blessings will come back to you…..
Thanks as always for sharing your feminine beauty and thoughts ~Renee Michelle
Thank you, Renee. I’ll definitely read the post. It’s a fine line, isn’t it? We ARE often victimized and it’s legitimate to name harm as such and we need to be able to move to places of strength and empowerment. Always easier said than done. ‘Appreciate the reminder of the high road’s value…and the blessings. I’ll take ‘em!
“Moment of truth: Will you say what needs to be heard or what needs to be said?” Love this line… Seeing more clearly how my current situation in a repeat of my past history… Time to step out of that place of futility and hopelessness. Time to change that cycle. Time to say what needs to be said… what ever the cost.
Can’t wait to see you this week.
I’m smiling, Rebecca…and deeply aware of how much you know of truth’s cost.
Thank you for your powerful, articulate and heart-full expressions. Wanted to let you know I’ve added your blog to my “visionaries” sidebar links at http://www.writesynergiescopywriting.com. Your voice is well worth sharing.
Always cheering you on!
Bobbye Middendorf
The Write Synergies Guru
.-= Bobbye Middendorf´s last blog ..Content Plus Community Blog Challenge Post 15 =-.
Thank you, Bobbye! A “visionary?” Oooh. I like that!
Hi Ronna… Delicious post! I recently wrote about being fierce with
ourselves, not succumbing to the gremlins, trances and stories
which will take us away from our truth… living in line with our
integrity. So, well done that woman… whatever the ‘story’.
.-= Sharon Eden´s last blog ..Three Essential Steps To Fierce Leadership =-.
Thank you, Sharon. The “gremlins, trances, and stories” do lure from time-to-time, but to live and tell a story that’s true is so much more seductive…ultimately. ‘Appreciate you.
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