Tonight I did something that feels incredibly risky. I invested in something that WILL help me strengthen my business; that WILL increase my reach, my impact, my voice (See the caps? that’s me…speaking in the positive, affirming my choice, talking myself down from the ledge). But oh, the fear! The panic! The anxiety!
It’s hard to be in this in-between place: between the work of embodying and actually living into what I hope/long for while simultaneously maintaining a level of security that allows me to feel “safe” in risk. Big problem, right? There is no safety in risk. That’s what makes it a risk!
Live every moment in the present. Do it. Risk it. Buy it if you love it. Loving well takes practice, delicious practice. If it feels good, it must be good.
(Gael Greene)
OK. Here’s me: facing the truth. Doing what’s hard for me. Doing what (sort of) feels good. Spending money! Investing in myself. And what’s more, exacerbating the risk by sticking to my guns in regards to what I posted yesterday and using a scriptural narrative to make my point. Aaaaugh! RISK everywhere!
Here’s the story that comes to mind. It’s found in the Hebrew scriptures (1 Samuel 25). It’s about Abigail – a woman who risked her very life (and thousands of others’) to tell the truth.
The scene: she’s in a bad marriage with a husband whose very name means “fool.”Because of such, not surprisingly, he makes bad decisions, doesn’t want to acknowledge that King David is on his land, subsequently pisses off said king, and risks the very destruction of the entire family/village/clan. Abigail sees what’s happening, totally forgoes protocol, and risks her very life by speaking directly to the king. In preparation, she (wisely/shrewdly) fixes a ton of amazing food and heads out to the soon-to-be battlefield in the hopes that she can call on the king’s compassion.The king, not surprisingly, is impressed with her courage (as well as her beauty and culinary skills) and spares the slaying of thousands of innocent people.
Just your everyday story, right?
But that’s not its end. Abigail decides to risk even more and tell her husband the truth about what she’s done. (I know, right? She could have just left well enough alone.) In his rage and shame the text tells us that “his heart failed him and he became like a stone.” And 10 days later? “…the Lord struck Nabal and he died.” Hers was not a calculated risk. It was all-out, beyond belief, and a ride-the-rollercoaster-without-a-seatbelt risk!
OK. I don’t expect my risk will cause anyone to be struck dead, but I do know that my own fear sometimes paralyzes me in very similar ways! I can get totally stuck; totally stone-like in my ability to move forward.
Not Abigail. She encourages me. She makes a beautiful, risky, and courageous choice. She doesn’t let fear control her. She knows there is no safety in risk (which, as earlier established, is why it’s called risk). She steps up, does what has to be done, and is amazing in the midst. She reminds me that I’m not alone.
That makes all the difference.
Step up. Do what needs to be done. Be amazing in the midst.
And when you do? When I do? Totally not alone!
Risk! Risk anything! Care no more for the opinions of others, for those voices. Do the hardest thing on earth for you. Act for yourself. Face the truth.
(Katherine Mansfield)
{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }
Amen, Sister.
OK. I did not hit “publish” more than 2 minutes ago! You are fast…and so encouraging. Thank you, Julie!
Love the use of the Abigail story as a model for risk-taking. I am learning the book of Samuel II with my Rabbi now. It’s a fascinating book, and learning it as an adult gives me a whole new perspective on the actions of women living in that culture. I think, given the times, the risk that Abigail took can be seen as even greater than had she lived today.
I support you in your courageous risk-taking, Ronna. If we don’t risk, we are pretty boring, fairly dead, and certainly living the status quo. I am continually inspired by the risk-takers of today, and now you have pointed me to those of yesterday. There is inspiration to be mined in so many places. It’s there for those who know where to seek.
Thanks for inspiring me to continue on my path of living my truth, no matter the risk. What a ride it is!
xo
Sandy
Thank you, Sandy! And YES – Abigail’s risk was far more significant then than it would be now. It was death-defying (or inducing), flying in the face of all cultural norms, and WAY out there for anyone to confront a king…but even more so for a woman. That’s why I love her story! “Living my truth, no matter the risk.” Love that you said this…and live it!
Makes me want to get out my Bible study of Women of the Old Testament! Thanks for the reminder that risk has always been here!
Oooh. So many more great stories in there – just waiting to be re-told, Nicki!
Sometimes it seems there is such a narrow bridge between being stuck in what appears safe and that which appears to be total foolishness. That narrow bridge is risk. So often the bridge seems almost invisible so that looking down as one steps across seems as if stepping off a cliff. Was that in an Indiana Jones movie? Appearances can be so deceptive at times, yet listening to the other senses is terrifying for most of us who are so sight oriented. I for one need to learn how to sense where the bridge is even when I can’t see it.
Or maybe there’s no bridge and a free-fall is what we’re being called to. A leap. Yes, Angie. Thanks for reminding me to listen vs. needing to always see! Listening to my heart!! And trusting in the midst of the risk!
And risk requires courage.
And courage is not the absence of fear.
Courage is moving forward anyway.
Kudos to you my risky, courageous friend!
In it with you…and grateful, Dani.
We tend to think of risk going hand-in-hand with reward…which indeed, it can. And yet, often the risk IS the reward.
And you, BTW, ARE amazing in the midst. So glad I found you.
TG
Thanks, Tanya. I’m glad you found me, too (and vice versa). And YES: “often the risk IS the reward.” Beautiful.
You struck 10,000 chords here – but “She reminds me that I’m not alone.” is ringing the loudest right now for me.
It’s been a long time since I’ve heard the Abigail story – and I LOVE hearing the old stories with narrative mixed in – relating them to me, to now — and I am still not sure why the “I’m not alone.” is singing so loudly to me right now – but it sure is. Stories – the people in them, the impact they make, the ones we hear from each other and tell each other – whew – they are always with us. Thanks for this.
Square-Peg Karen´s last blog ..Can You Trust a/an (inner) Used Car Salesman?
You’re not alone. You’re not alone. You’re not alone, Karen! A chord we all need to hear ringing in our ears and hearts all the time!
wow i so needed to read that. that speaks to me in volumes with what im going through in my life right now. thanks for the order. and the shout out on twitter…cant wait to see what you write next. im happy to find new inspiration in your words.
Mmmm. Definitely more story there, Michelle. I’m glad my words have meaning for you. You can bet I’ll keep speaking…and advocating for you (in life AND in business).
Cannot remember the author who wrote it, but I love the title “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway!” Oh, how often I hold myself back simply because I fear failure, rejection, abandonment… I told one of the participants in workshop this week, “Fear is a lie that we sometimes tell to ourselves. We believe that the worst WILL happen, without the evidence of it. Check it out. Take action. You may be surprised that you CAN do it!” I guess I should take my own advice!!
Coral Levang´s last blog ..A Week of Rapid-Fire Challenges
“Do it anyway.” I love that, Coral; and yes, it feels like an important mantra for me, as well! So…you’re not alone!
so encouraging. My One Little Word this year is ‘Risk’ (http://thosecrazyschuberts.com/2010/01/2010-one-little-word.html) ….
AND this week I just decide to invest $$ (I barely have) in a workshop to help my business grow.
Thanks for the reminder
I’m so glad these words encourage you, Amy. And you’re not alone! I invested money (I barely have) in a workshop this week, as well! We’re in it together!!! Risk matters and is SO worth it!!!
{ 1 trackback }