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Sophia

Wisdom seeking is difficult because, as Martha Nussbaum has written, “Knowing can be violent, given the truths that are there to be known.” What this means for us is that in order to live on wisdom’s path, we will have to give up the illusion of safety. If we try to secure our safety, we will continually be doomed to dwell in fields of hesitation, stalled in neutral, forever wavering in the wind. ~ From Chasing Sophia, by Lillian Calles Barger

In this place, this time, this world, where do we turn for wisdom?

There are many places, many voices, many sources to be sure. And some are better than others. The one I encourage (and the one I work to rely upon myself)? The wisdom that’s yours! That know-that-you-know-that-you-know voice within that sometimes whispers, sometimes shouts, and is always speaking.

How do I know? And how can you trust that this is so, that what you hear is reliable, trustworthy, and true?

Enter Sophia.

Wisdom Herself. Present at all times. The word itself that’s used to define and describe such knowing in the Sacred Text. And yes, a woman.

She’s one of the 52 stories I reimagine, retell, and redeem through SacredReadings. And it’s possible that She is the one who will choose you for 2019 and beyond.

Believe me: no matter who shows up on your behalf, whether Sophia or not, the wisdom (and encouragement and blessing and hope) within will speak perfectly and poignantly to and for you. I promise. How and why can I do such a thing? Because their wisdom (and encouragement and blessing and hope) continue to speak to me – over and over again.

And what I’ve come to realize is this:

These ancient, sacred stories of women are in our blood – longing to be heard and everpresent – offering us all the wisdom we desire and deserve. They are our matrlineal line and birthright. They are yours.

Inspiration Incarnate

I used to believe that the words, verses, chapters, and books of Scripture were composed by God – the writer’s hand merely the conduit for Divine Script.

All Scripture is God-breathed . . . ~ 2 Timothy 3:16a

Now I know them to be a human (albeit, inspired) attempt to sustain an oral tradition of signifocant narratives that defined a particular people within a particular culture within a particular time.

We write to remember our nows later. ~Terri Guillemets

Still, I wish I could return to my earlier belief. Maybe it’s the mystery. Maybe it’s the miraculous. Maybe it’s allowing for and trusting in something larger, something more powerful, Something, Someone, God.

And maybe, no, most definitely, it’s because I long for the same: I want my writing, my creativity, my articulated, expressed heart to be God-breathed.

Divine inspiration, please!

The work-work-work of writing can be tedious, to be sure, and often uninspired. In such times, the idea of a muse, a dæmon or genius, a creative sprite who inhabits me, even if only temporarily, and imbues me with mystery, miracle, and brilliant prose, sounds heavenly.

I ever wish for a Divine hand that can make sense of my jumbled thoughts, my tumbling heart, my endless hope, my cycling doubt. And to remind myself that I’m not crazy, I watch, yet again, Elizabeth Gilbert’s TED talk on the elusive creative genius. Her words are like communion wine: exactly the warming libation I need to press on; to be reminded that it is in the act and art of writing that I am connected to something larger, something more powerful, Something, Someone, God.

No matter what I believe (or don’t), here’s what I know: I want to dwell-without fighting in the mystery and miracle of text – sacred and my own. I want to be Divinely touched, through its stories and the writing of my own. I want to feel the igniting spark of the Divine flow through me, onto the keyboard, into my computer, and out to the world.

I also know this: the battle is epic. There are more days than not in which my angels and demons are at war with one another, in brain and heart. And truth-be-told, the demons often have the edge. I am tempted to despair, to doubt that anything worthwhile will ever move from my oft’ tormented brain into form or function, meaning or manuscript.

The artist committing himself to his calling has volunteered for hell whether he knows it or not. ~ Steven Pressfield, The War of Art

And then – mysteriously and miraculously – explainable as nothing other than God’s grace, I am reminded that I am not alone; that all creatives throughout all of time have fought the same fight and suffered the same wounds – maybe most certainly even those who wrote the Texts we now understand as the Divinely inspired Word of God. And that makes me feel a little bit better, breathe a little easier, and head back to the words imbued in that Text and the ones I form, create, collate, and offer.

Lastly (at least for now), I wonder if we are not, at least in part, that muse, that sprite, that hope and inspiration for one another. Because, of course, we are the carriers of the Divine Spark and the Divine Story. Our voices and hearts on behalf of one another are the very thing that remind us – whether writers or not – that our voices and our very selves matter.

We are inspiration incarnate.