When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things.
(1 Corinthians 13:11)
Is please and thank you childish? What about in the context of prayer? I wonder…
When I was growing up I said prayers every night. I talked to God. In early years, I spoke my requests out loud; later, silently. I asked for lots of things: a good grade on a test, kindness from a friend, being noticed by a particular boy, a reprieve from acne. Critical, earth-shattering things. I’m sure I also included the obligatory traveling mercies, health for relatives, and the general salvation of the earth. I said, “Please…”
I also said “Thank you.” I would speak out (or name within) the things for which I was grateful; the attributes of God for which I was especially glad – or at least aware.
This was not a discipline that ended when I was a child. It carried into (and somehow remains in) adulthood. I moved into a world of journaling my prayers, of pouring out my requests, as well as that for which I was thankful. Pages and pages and pages of my heart made known to God. (Truth-be-told, my blogging, to great degree, is the same. This space in which I twist and wind words, somehow hoping they make sense; articulating my biggest, most audacious prayers, voicing my doubts, saying “please” in both implicit and explicit ways.)
But the simplicity of “please” and “thank you” – at least as cause/effect is long gone.
I no longer practice (do I still believe?) this asking something of God and then expecting or hoping for a response. Still, I model and employ it with my daughters.
A story:
We had major trauma in our home last night. At about 9:30, Abby realized that her brand new, relatively-expensive, iPod touch was missing. She retraced her steps. She scoured every corner. The flashlight came out to peer under the bed. No results. She raged. She cried. And I told her she needed to go to sleep; that in the morning, with perspective and rest, she’d probably remember exactly where it was. As I tucked her in, I prayed an out-loud prayer while sitting on the side of her bed: “Dear God, this iPod is important. It matters. Please help us to find it. And give Abby a good sleep – without worry. Amen.”
Frankly, I didn’t think much of it.
Not 5 minutes later, Emma tracked me down and said, “I found Abby’s iPod.” What?!? It was under Emma’s pillow – set there the day before while they had been occupied with another electronic distraction. The lost was found.
And the first thing through my mind? Wow! God answered that prayer in a hurry!
I went back into Abby’s room and talked to her a few minutes…hearing her exhausted relief. I said, “We probably ought to say ‘thank you’ to God, don’t you think?” And she said, “Yeah. That was pretty fast!” Emma quickly said, “And you probably ought to say ‘thank you,’ to me, don’t you think?” My daughter, indeed.
Please and Thank You.
Dare I believe in such?
I’m skeptical of the whole I-ask-you-answer God. Dani Shapiro speaks eloquently to this in her book, Devotion
I was pretty sure there was no parking-spot-procuring God, swooping down from on high, helping out in a crisis – or even a traffic jam. I wished I believed that – but I didn’t. I simply didn’t. Still, here was a form, a ritual, a fulfillment of an ancestral commandment. It was something, rather than nothing. Another daily reminder…to stop for a moment. To take a breath. To pay attention and listen well.
I’m pretty sure on this, too. Still…last night’s events have given me pause. I stop for a moment. I take a breath. I pay attention. And I wonder if I should be listening more.
How much of my skepticism has leaked into my ability to believe and accept mystery; things beyond definition? How much of my learned-certainty (which I tend to over-prize) has dampened a childlike faith that allows for a god who actually wants good things on my behalf…and that of my daughters?
Please and Thank You.
My list is long – on both counts. I wonder…
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{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
I don’t recall where I read it or learned it but I do recall something about not asking God for the small things. Ask for the larger, less detail oriented items. Does that make sense?
That thought process never made sense to me as an adult. How do I teach my kids – who are all about the small things, like the lost iPod – to ask God for anything? The bigger things are not what kids worry about, in most cases.
Now, I pray daily and always start with the thank yous. Then I do the pleases. Not sure why I think it matters but I know it gives me the gratitude attitude I want!
Nicki´s last [type] ..Giving and Receiving
It seems so simple when we’re small; but, as we get older we either over-think it or don’t think about it at all. I’m more compelled by how the activity (or at least the thought of it ) impacts me…more than whether or not prayer works, which kind, how big/small, etc. And I’m mostly compelled by my spontaneous response to it with my daughters. Something known and familiar was piqued, for sure. Thanks for sharing, Nicki.
I love this post Ronna. I do EXACTLY the same thing, and wonder whether I’m perpetuating a harmful myth onto my kids or missing out on something because of my cynicism – or somewhere in between. And we could dance all day around the attractive power of positive thinking vs. faith that moves mountains (or an i-pod covering pillow)…. Is it simply about paying attention and aligning with the flow of energy or does God really answer such prayers? Or somehow are both ideas really the same? I struggle with the idea of it because of what happens when the answer doesn’t come, when the stakes are higher, when life and death seem to win out over the mystery of faith. But yet, like you, I’ve not completely let it go. All I know to do is to continue to honor the mystery – and yes – say “please” and “thank you”.
Renae C.´s last [type] ..July I Believe Challenge – Day 21 & 22
Love what you’ve said, Renae. It does feel like the challenge/gift is to live somewhere in the mix of faith, positive thinking, God, energy, and always, always mystery.
In recent years I have exposed myself to so many ideas and concepts that are outside the normal realm of Bible belt Christianity. It has continually fascinated me how many different ways there are to “experience” the concept of God. Prayer is a huge part of that. I have never been much of a pray-er, yet I have recognized on many occasions how valuable and ever-present that concept of ask, seek, knock really is. I love, LOVE, LOVE the scripture that is in Mark 11:24: “Ask believing you have already received”, and in Matthew 7:7-8: “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened”.
There is no “hoping for”, no begging God, no wondering if it will come to pass, because “…the door WILL be opened.” This shows up in so many different religions and self-improvement programs. My prayers are seldom what most people think of as prayers. Mine usually look more like a passionate dream in which I create a feeling of exactly what I’d like to experience in my life. And as things begin to shift and happen, the gratitude appears as a feeling of utter and complete amazement at what is transpiring in my life. The way I see it, the vibrations of asking, seeking, knocking, believing, then feeling the gratitude are what make things happen in this universe, and no matter what I call this force that allows, it never ceases to amaze and fascinate me.
Love this, Angie. And love, most of all, that you have found what brings meaning to you vs. being bound by meaning ascribed/prescribed through your own faith heritage. Good, good stuff!
I have prayed for lost items – keys and flash drives and such. Rather than alert the heavenly forces to my dilemma, it helps me take my focus of the frenetic search for the lost item and onto a being greater than myself. A being infinitely aware of all my comings and goings who knows exactly where I left my keys and more importantly exactly where I am. In that moment, my breathing slows and my mind stops whirling and I usually hear a still small voice that I had been missing in the frenzied search. I stop and pay attention. I so need to do it more… Missing that voice has cost me more than I ever will know…
Ah, the still small voice. Unknown where it comes from or who it belongs to. I think some lovely and mysterious combination of our deepest, truest self, merged with the divine, the Sacred Feminine, our very soul. Beautiful. And SO worth listening to!
I have a relationship like this with God/Goddess/All That Is…. we listen to each other (the big entity has a lot of patience because sometimes i don’t hear well at alll) but didn’t Jesus talk about becoming like a child to know God – isn’t this a bit of what he was talkiing about – jettisoning that cynical “know all” brain and just tuning into that flow of Godness that is all around us, just waiting for us to invite good in??? Love to you Ronna
Absolutely. I totally agree with you, Jane. The context of the verse is that we need to love…not think/reason/argue; that we need to acknowledge that which we don’t nor can’t ever understand. Indeed, prayer or communicating with the divine is in that realm! “Jettisoning the cynical…” Love this! Thanks for being here!
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