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To create in the desert

February 28, 2010

The chosen phrase I’ve attached to Lent – for this blog/vlog series – for this season – for myself:

…to create, to take what we find in the shadows of our lives and craft what never before has been seen.
(Jan Richardson)
I’ve grounded these words in the terrain of the desert. I’ve been considering what it [...]

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A Vlog: my counsel/companion in the desert

February 26, 2010

In my last post I promised that I would tell you of one person who has been steady counsel/companionship for me in the desert. It takes me 6 minutes, but here it is!

P.S.: I say that her text shows up in chapters 16 & 23. It’s actually 16 & 21. Oops!

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Out of the shadows and into the light? Two things needed.

February 25, 2010

I’ve been deeply aware of the felt tension expressed in comments and side-bar conversation around these past days of Lenten posts. On the one hand, I’m encouraged: the categories of desert, silence, rage, and suffering are clearly not unique to me. They are known and familiar spaces – particularly for women. I am not alone [...]

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Revealed

February 24, 2010

More of Jan Richardson’s words today: more than enough.

Perhaps the truth is that we are on a journey both to recognize God in all her guises and also to learn how to show our true faces to God and one another.
I can barely ask you
to unmask me
for fear your touch
on my face
would shatter skin.
And yet,
shed [...]

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The solace of silence

February 23, 2010

Sometimes, maybe often, we feel levels of rage that seem as though they might consume us – or others. I know that desert. I have been angry: at others, but probably far more frequently, at myself.
The shadow-side of me has a tendency to become interior, sullen, removed, resentful, cynical, caustic, and not-so-pleasant to be around.
But [...]

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Water in the desert: tears

February 22, 2010

A number of years ago my Spiritual Director spoke to me, again, of the desert: my metaphor, my language, my constant dwelling place. She asked, “Ronna, what might water in the desert be for you?” Slow tears poured down my cheeks as I answered, “There is none. I am thirsty and none is to be [...]

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A Brilliant Darkness

February 21, 2010

As I continue to wander the desert during these 40 days (many before and many yet to come, no doubt), I am struck by my resistance to the religious meanings or inherent theology of the season. The weight of my past is heavy; nearly absent of the voices and stories that speak to me most [...]

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Desert truth continued…

February 20, 2010

And I felt like my heart had been so thoroughly and irreparably broken that there could be no real joy again, that at best there might eventually be a little contentment. Everyone wanted me to get help and rejoin life, pick up the pieces and move on, and I tried to, I wanted to, but [...]

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Desert: mirage and truth

February 19, 2010

As I continue to ponder the desert – its shadows and sparseness, it’s heat and intensity – I’m feel the proclivity, the well-rehearsed response to flee. I attempt this in a number of ways:
Mirage
I pretend things aren’t really all that bad (or hard or painful or…). I dull my heart, take a deep breath, and head into [...]

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Tough Angels. Sweet Wine. Strong Bread.

February 18, 2010

We have an aversion to the wilderness; to being in places that are difficult, sparse, painful, or lonely. And yet, we find ourselves in them again and again.
If you’ve read much of what I’ve written, you know this is a recurrent theme for me: naming struggle, staying in ambiguity, even allowing for pain. And I’ve [...]

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