My friend Crystal dropped an article off on my desk today entitled Betrayed by Work. It’s well worth downloading and reading, if not printing off and keeping in your library. It talks of a psychologist who, over an extended period of time, realized she was seeing an increasing number of female clients who were deeply depressed, suffering from anxiety attacks, and/or besieged by the trauma of feeling betrayed by their employers.
I won’t go into all the detail but I found myself in its pages:
- We experience our workplace and co-workers as family. Check.
- Group activities at work comprise the bulk of our social activities. Check.
- Our closest friends are our colleagues. Check.
Ouch! It’s inevitable: When you spend so many hours at work, you’re going to make friends there. The danger, according to Philipson, comes when your entire support network is at the office…”You can have collegial relationships at work but friendships at work should be treated like office romances: You need to proceed very cautiously.”
So, I feel a bit stuck. I deeply want to be a healthy person, mother, friend…and employee. I deeply desire relationships that are meaningful – and many of those, just by the nature of time spent and mutual interest come from my workplace. What must ensue to keep them (and me) balanced, meaningful, and not craz? I don’t know the answer, but it’s definitely worth more thought, reflection (and maybe a glass of wine with a friend/co-worker) I know, defeating the purpose…
The article also says that one of the warning signs is that you rarely miss work; that you work long hours and sacrifice much on behalf of the “firm.” Maybe I’m not at quite as much risk as I might have thought. After all, I’m typing this blog at my desk in the middle of the day.
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