I am hungry.
It takes different forms, I’ve realized. One comes from a place of lack: a hunger for what I don’t have, what I crave, what I deserve and even need. I clamor for relief. I demand satisfaction. I am ravenous – but not in a good, intentional, or healthy way.
The other comes from a place of plenty: a hunger for more things delicious, tasty, delectable, and oh-so-good. I am ravenous – but in a powerful, desirous, and provocative way (I know…I can’t help but use these words with positive spin).
If I were to head into the far-too-familiar territory of dieting, I’d quickly accede that the latter is the healthier state. Food choices, to be balanced and wise, need to be made from a place of plenty. I need to be able to choose foods not because I crave them and feel their absence, but because I desire nutrition, strength, and a sense of control and discipline that affirms my self-worth. I want to act from a place of freedom, power, and em-powered choice.
I want to stop being hungry in the former category. Yes, for food, of course; but far more, in emotional/relational realms. I’m tired of being hungry for things I just can’t have – always from a place of lack. It makes me tired, demanding, surly, and verging on entitled. It makes me want to consume…and not in a pretty way.
Instead, I want to be hungry from a place of plenty; from a place in which I can sit in the midst of choice, ample opportunity, a wealth of richness, invitation, decadence, opportunity and then take my pick – knowing that the sky’s the limit, that I can dine and feast in luxury. And the great thing? With this understanding of hunger, it’s actually OK to want more – and yes, to have more, take more, desire more. It’s OK to be ravenous. Because nourishment (and satisfaction) is ample. There is no lack. There is no craving. There is only goodness, delectable-ness, perfection, and more.
Why would I ever choose hunger from a place of lack when I both deserve and have available to me a place of plenty? Well, sometimes it’s easier to be a glutton for punishment than a connoisseur of pleasure. Sometimes it’s easier to stay in parched and pallid places than those that are lavish and loving. And sometimes it’s some small, scared, and stilted voice inside that’s trying to tell me that my desire is dangerous and out-of-control.
I’ll agree that desire is dangerous, but my out-loud voice, my out-loud me, is fine with that. I’m hungry. I’m not apologizing. And I’m choosing to be fed from a place that offers me much vs. keeps me wanting.
I have some specific scenarios in mind as I wax on (no surprise there). But rather than bore you with specifics or divulge more than necessary, I wonder what scenes crop up in mind and heart for you.
For what are you hungry? Money? Work? Relationship? Love? Affection? Respect? Sex? Health? Food? Can you imagine having your every desire fulfilled? Can you imagine a place of plenty?
If not, you’re not alone. I know what that feels like: it’s the other kind of hunger. It’s time to let that go.
I’m talking to myself. It’s time to let that go…
Letting go of lack. Choosing plenty. Choosing desire. Choosing faith.
Bring it on. BRING IT ON!!
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Woohoo! Bring it on. Bring it all on.
Coach Cassandra Rae´s last blog ..Face a Fear Friday!
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