Today feels like one of those days when I need affirmation, to be reminded that all is well, to know that my heart is good and that its desires are beautiful and worth pursuing. Today feels like one of those days when I could pretty easily slip into self-contempt, small thoughts, disbelief and cynicism. I’m holding on.
I don’t really wonder why these days come. In fact, I wonder why more of them don’t occur. For the most part I am able to keep my wits about me and remain both encouraged and optimistic. And because of such, days like today feel darker, edgier, more slippery. Still, I’m holding on.
Here’s what I know: Holding on is not a desperate place for me. It’s an alone place, but one that reminds me that I have the capacity, strength, endurance, and ability to stand on my own; to think accurate and grounded thoughts; to believe in what is most true about myself and not be swayed by external forces and realities that try and talk me into something else. It’s taken me a long time – years – a lifetime, perhaps – to be able to hold on. I know how.
Here’s what else I know. Sometimes I need to stop holding on. Sometimes I just need to let go – and drift – into
thoughts
feelings
memories
fears
emotions
hopes
dread
past
future…
Today I am holding on – and trying to let go, all at the same time. And I’m intact, whole, healthy, strong, me. Holding on…to myself.
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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Ronna,
Thank you for this post – I love it. I wrote my response here:
http://www.adesignsovast.com/
But your words resonate loud and clear. I aspire to your wisdom.
Thank you.
Lindsey
.-= Lindsey´s last blog .. =-.
Thanks, Lindsey. You, too, are speaking from such vulnerability – and strength – while you hold on. I’m with ya!!