Grasping

I’ve been thinking about grasping lately – and I haven’t been all that crazy about where my mind has gone. I feel like I am doing a lot of grasping these days – grasping at control, grasping at illusive relationship(s), grasping at managing emotions, grasping at the future. It’s not pretty and it’s not all that successful. I don’t have control. Relationship(s) remains illusive. Emotions rage. My future cannot be planned or managed (at least to the degree I pursue). 

What might the antithesis be of grasping? The image that keeps coming to mind is the difference between fists clenched and hands open. Will I open my hands? Will I let go? Will I stop grasping? Deep breaths. 

And while inhaling, I came across this quote by poet Anne Bronte (1820-1849): 

Should never crave the rose. 

There’s something to this, something about grasping in this context that reminds me that what I desire, what I hope, what I want is beautiful and worthwhile. 

So today, I’m trying to unclench my fists, to breathe, to keep my hands open and to acknowledge that my desire for control (in healthy ways), relationship, balanced emotions, and a meaningful future is legitimate. Grasping the thorn is the pain inherent in beauty, in love, in all things worth pursuing and desiring. And I do crave the rose. 

Unclenched fists…thorns…roses….hope…desire. 

Deep breaths.