I spent Friday and Saturday with Karen, one of my dearest friends. We drove to a cabin, about 2+ hours out of Seattle, and spent the next 24 hours talking (with about 8 hours of sleep in the middle). These days, as our visits have gotten less frequent and our conversation more intense, we meta-process; we talk about what we appreciate in and about the other, how the years have changed us and our conversations, how amazing it is that we have weathered so much together.
Then this morning, trying to catch up on email, Facebook, Twitter, and the like, I came across a blog post by Seth Godin called Fidelity vs. Convenience. The post was excellent, but what struck me was the word “fidelity.” It rings true. It’s what Karen has offered me – and invited me to – again and again. She is a fidelity friend.
The online dictionary defines fidelity as faithfulness to obligations, duties, or observances; a strict adherence to vows or promises. But Godin expands our understanding by bumping it up against the word “convenience.” Here’s a quote:
The simplest example is movies. You pay to go to a theatre when you want the fidelity of the big screen and the crowd and the speakers. You stay home when you want the convenience of Netflix and the pause button. Vinyl records and live concerts offer fidelity, MP3 on your iPod is convenient.
Karen offers fidelity. She is the theater, the vinyl record and the live concert. She embodies quality, beauty, honesty, strength, commitment, faith, hope, and love. She matters deeply in my life. And she consistently invites me to fidelity as well – in relationship with her, certainly, but far beyond. In relationships with friends and others, my daughters, my family, my time, my work, my money, my commitments, and God.
And here’s the thing about Karen: she does all of this is a way that completely and profoundly defines grace for me.
If she were reading this, she would tear up. She would call me and begin to tell me how much I have meant to her. And she would tell me about my fidelity. We offer it to one another. It’s a humbling and amazing thing: friendship and fidelity.
I am grateful for you, Karen. My fidelity friend.
Be slow to fall into friendship, but when thou art in, continue firm and constant. (Socrates)
