In my newsletter this week I offered some definitions of terms:
Faith.
Feminism.
Telling the Truth.
Even Renegade
and Conversations.
I’ve been thinking a lot about “Feminism.” It’s loaded, right? It’s reactive. It’s volatile in some circles, assumed in others. But it’s hardly bland. It evokes response. That’s at least part of the reason why I use it.
But I’ve been wondering: does it create a boundary or wall that I don’t mean to create? Have I limited conversation? Does the very fact that I self-describe (at least via the byline on my website) with this word, somehow keep me from dialogue and/or relationship with people I’d love to be talking to? I don’t know. (Parenthetically, one could say that the very fact that I use the word “Faith” potentially does the same thing. I agree. That’s another post for another time. Let’s just stick with one at a time! )
I don’t assume, nor do I want/need everyone to agree with me. But this word – feminism – even creates ambivalence in me. (Yes…another post for another time. )
Would you be up for telling me what you think?
What is your quick and Rorschach-like response/reaction (or maybe reaction/response) to this word?
FEMINISM
Comment here or email me (ronna@ronnadetrick.com). I’d love to hear your responses (or reactions), collate them, consider them, and ultimately invite even more conversation about a topic that matters – regardless of our varied positions, stances, or opinions!
Please don’t misunderstand me: I’m hardly wish-washy about this topic. Rather; I have very strong feelings and beliefs. But far more, I want to consider well the ways in which the conversation can take place in generative, hope-filled ways. Your perspective matters.
{ 28 comments… read them below or add one }
My gut reaction flip flops like a politician some days. I think a lot has to do with context and the person using the word. I have known some feminists that give the word a bad name. I have also known many more that make feminism what I espouse to believe in. I don’t think, just on its own, I have a reaction or a response to the word.
Put it coming out of someone’s mouth or someone’s pen/keyboard and it takes on meanings that go with the other words around it and with the person who is using it.
.-= Nicki´s last blog ..Ed Tech Day =-.
Thanks, Nicki. Indeed, the source and context make a ton of difference. Ah, that we all paid attention to such before reaction or response!
Honestly? I don’t like the word. I don’t like using it as a label to describe myself, even though I am one. (ha) From an age perspective, I probably fall in the ‘second wave’ category. Young women these days often don’t like the term and take certain things for granted, but this concerns me because I don’t think they might clearly see how much farther we still have to go.
So most of the time, yeah…..the ‘feminism’ word wouldn’t keep me from reading, but I’d proceed with caution.
However, you also know my background and story. It was probably the combination of the two words, each which carries weight and the possibility of excluding some from reading you, that was the very thing that drew me to get to know you. I was thrilled to see someone combine the two words. I bet there are others who would be drawn to the combo too.
Love,
deb
Thanks for this, Deb. ‘Appreciate your honesty in regards to your gut reaction – tempered with your cultural/societal awareness of all that remains to be done. And thanks, too, for your kind words re: my combining of faith and feminism together. At least for you, that’s not off-putting…and for me, it’s important combination on a number of levels. I’m grateful for your words.
Because I am barely beginning to live outside the evangelical culture, I have experienced little interaction with feminism as a word, concept, or individuals. However, I did attend a UCalifornia campus and the “feminists” were a stereotyped group, that I experienced (especially as a “pro-life” leader in the early 90s) as a place of anger, bitter independence, and disdain for my traditional choices. I think, bottom line, that feminism communicates to me a femaleness where men are not needed or wanted or valued, unless they’re gay, and there’s not a place for softness, maternal, femininity or traditional gender lines unless I am into earth and goddess worship. It’s a community word I, as a woman and mother, can’t (won’t) join. But please know, it’s only in the last few months I am starting to admit to myself that the church has been terribly off about women in their culture, so I am more and more open that I have a lot to learn about my femininity and feminism in general.
So, so helpful Jen. Thank you! I completely get the impressions that have been formed for you…and hear the open-mindedness with which you are seeking to see and understand today. It is highly complex and remains a flash-point word for many. I’m constantly curious about this and wondering if we redeem the word or come up with new ones…or maybe a third, as-yet unknown option. It’s a HUGE topic…and one I love to think about. Your thoughts enhance and strengthen that process for me. Again, thanks!
I definitely think the word itself has a bad rap; in fact, I’ve spent months telling people, “I’m not a feminist, but…” just to avoid being associated with it. I think if you use the word on it’s own it definitely turns people off and shuts down conversations.
There’s some kind of cultural stereotype that says that feminists are angry, political, and fanatics. This makes it ok to dismiss their ideas and therefore keeps the conversation from being carried on in new ways.
But, talking specifically about you and this blog: I had hardly even noticed it in your header. I think that the other words with it soften it and balance it in my mind (which I shouldn’t need seeing as I am definitely now a feminist myself, but old habits die hard). So, I think you are probably ok to keep it there, but I’m glad you are asking because it’s got to be useful for you to get a glimpse at how we automatically take that word in if you are going to keep using it.
Yours,
Megan
.-= Megan´s last blog ..Writing my Thesis: Spiritual Practice =-.
Thanks Megan. Yes, the comments have been so interesting. For me, the exercise has been less about validating how I talk about myself and more about wanting to get a pulse for others’ experiences and understandings of these words – certainly so that I can think well with readers about the topic, but also in order to better address the realities, the issues, the ongoing “battles” that still ensue – in our own minds if nothing else!
Of course, I have my own opinions; my own stance; but as always, more input, perspective, and context matters so much – both to inform and shape me. I’m deeply grateful. Thanks for adding your words and heart into the mix!
I can certainly feel a dual perception when it comes to the word feminism. Surprising me most is the fact that the staunch, legalistic, pro-choice, man-hating image is not what first hit me. My image for the word feminism (as opposed to feminist, which would kick in the descriptors I just mentioned) is one of a delicate and proper lady….the southern belle, man-needy type, if you will. It represents much of what I have run from in my life, which is dressed to perfection with mani-, pedi-, and hair-do to match…the social-circle princess-club (I want to say tea-party women, but even that term has now been given a new meaning).
It is a word like so many others, shaped by each individual’s experiences. For some, a picture of sweet innocence. For others, a violent and negative image. When combined with Faith and Truth-Telling, it becomes an intriguing and less polarizing descriptor.
How does it affect your ability to draw the male species into the conversation? Oh yeah….males aren’t exactly known for conversation!
Such an interesting take, Angie. I think most people see feminism and feminist as synonymous. The fact that you don’t naturally make that leap intrigues me. And yes, mens’ response is just as, if not more polarizing yet. So much opportunity for misunderstanding. So much opportunity to form judgments based on huge, sweeping generalizations. And, so much restorative, redemptive word that remains to be done by all of us. Onward! Thank you for being here…
From the male perspective (I know, why am I even on this blog)…I think jewellspring hits the nail on the head with her definition of feminism – “communicates to me a femaleness where men are not needed or wanted or valued, unless they’re gay, and there’s not a place for softness, maternal, femininity or traditional gender lines”. A feminist practices feminism (like socialist => socialism). I also believe “feminism” means different things to the boomers, Gen-X and Gen-Y people. I too was a product of the UC system of the early 70′s so have a vivid memory of the woman’s movement.
Back to you Ronna, how do you define feminism?
Love that you’re here, Mike – reading the blog…and commenting. And OF COURSE I want your perspective and opinion, as well! The conversation is hardly bound to just one gender. Frankly, I think we’ll see the most powerful movement forward on all our behalf – no matter the issue – when we take this out of gendered contexts and think more in terms of humanity, justice, kindness, grace, etc. And…good volley – sending it back to me.
Yes…my answer – albeit ever-forming – remains. Stay tuned…
I love it. It’s what attracted me to your site in the first place. There are loads of religious/spiritual people in the blog-o-sphere with something to say (lots of men in particular). What makes your blog interesting to me is the link between feminism and faith.
Thanks, Samantha. ‘Appreciate your words – and your presence.
I agree with Nicki in that the context is hugely important in determining how I react to the word or concept of feminism. I’d have to say my initial gut reaction is definitely a positive one for me, the word evokes strong, independent, proud woman-hood. I don’t think we’ve out-grown it, I think we definitely still need it. Many of feminism’s initial concepts have made their way into the general consciousness, of course, but not yet enough. I find the backlash against it (think Pussycat Dolls and Playboy t-shirts/tattoos) a bit disturbing, and am hoping to eventually see a backlash against the backlash… (Female Chauvinist Pigs by Ariel Levy is a good, if too brief, book on that subject).
I think that women generally have a tendency to be too critical of themselves and each other, and there continues to be both overt and insidious discriminations against women around the world. For these reasons, I do believe that we need some unifying movement, or even just general principle against these things.
But, of course, at the end of the day we are all human. There has been, over time, a legitimate association between the concept of feminism and “man haters”. Many people (men and women) seem to feel the need to attach themselves to a “team” (a gender, race, religion, nationality, political party, or just plain old sporting team) in order to give themselves an opposing team to hate and rile against. And of course this is true of feminism as much as anything.
Personally I want to distance myself as much as possible from women who hate men (or even just make continual degrading jokes about them), as I truly can’t see how that’s any more defensible or constructive than misogyny. (Do they really believe we can’t build ourselves up and be strong as a gender without tearing the other down?)
And I think that’s been an issue for as long as feminism as a concept has existed. Women who’ve got plenty of bloke friends, who are married and have sons they adore, but who happen to believe that women deserve crazy things like equal pay and a bit of maternity leave have been reluctant to label themselves as feminists because of the associations. And so all you’re left with openly and loudly identifying themselves as feminists are the shouty, man-hating ones. So no wonder there’s now negative connotations. Perhaps what we need are more intelligent, reasonable, inclusive women openly identifying/labeling themselves as feminists to bring the movement back into greater acceptability.
Sorry. I’ve rambled far more than I intended to, but it is a fascinating topic…
Helen: Your words and thoughts are hardly “rambling;” rather, informed and thoughtful. Thank you. It’s a curious term with a sketchy history. And yes, still an issue that needs to be addressed. Your final sentence is what caught me most profoundly:
“Perhaps what we need are more intelligent, reasonable, inclusive women openly identifying/labeling themselves as feminists to bring the movement back into greater acceptability.”
I will say that throughout history many (if not most) feminists have been this but, of course, in juxtaposition to their times and existing levels of cultural acceptability (or not), their actions have been seen as scandalous…and many other things. That said, your call to being intelligent, reasonable, and inclusive feels like deep wisdom – so worth following.
Thank you.
Here’s my, from the hip response to the word feminism;
???…Hmm…tricky. About 10-15 years ago I was turned off by the word, because, for whatever reason, I associated it with woman’s liberation, and arrogant pushy, power hungry women who did not support their roles as a wife and mother. (At that time in my life I was 25-30yrs. old, and was married to a supposedly “christian man” while raising my family with christian values.)
Over the years, I have expanded my beliefs about religion, and, am now in a completely different stage of life. I am now 40yrs. old, divorced, and have two boys headed to college soon. I don’t view that word the same as I did back then. That being said, I think the times have changed drastically, and if I were in a similar role as I was then, I believe the word would still have a new meaning.
Feminism to me today, is all things female and beautiful. I think the word conjures up pictures of strength, and empowerment, as well as beauty. I think men were, and may still be threatened by the word. It would be hard to find a man using the word “feminine” to describe a woman. Hope this feedback helps
One more thought. I think Oprah has helped to empower women in many ways over the years, as have female politicians, etc…yet I would not use,”feminism” to describe her. ?? No particular media woman comes to mind right now when I think of the word. Although several years ago I would see women in politics, and social causes, and say that “she is a feminist”.
I like the word on your page. I think you are “feminine” and empower women to be strong as well as being connected to their feminine side. You are vulnerable, strong, truth telling, and inquiring in your writing. That is why I enjoy your posts. I would describe other female writers that I follow as that way too!
Have a great day Ronna! Renee (Micheamustro)
Words (and worlds) do turn and change over time, don’t they? I love your chronology here, Renee, and the ways in which you have embodied the meaning of the word differently throughout your own life. And I especially love your “today” version: “all things female and beautiful; strength and empowerment.” May it be so!
And thank you for your kind words about my writing/site. ‘Appreciate that. And like you, I’m deeply grateful for a number of other women writers/bloggers who invite me to the same: strength and empowerment in beautiful ways.
I’ve claimed the word feminism (and my identity) as a feminist after the first time I read about Elizabeth Cady Stanton in middle school. What I do not claim is other people’s stereotypes of the word and sometimes that includes other feminists because I think they use stereotypes to encourage the inherent fear that our society has regarding the idea of the powerful feminine. At it’s basis, feminism is about equality for women…much like being called a Black American is a description of the color of my skin… in both cases, other people may attach other meanings to the words because of their own perceptions… but that doesn’t change the truth of their meaning unless I let it.
In college I knew young women who were afraid to claim the word feminism because they felt it would imply something about them… that they were lesbians or man haters, or that they couldn’t wear pretty clothes and want romance… basically feminism meant NOT being feminine to them. I think down here (in the south) this is a big concern and it makes me sad because it shows exactly how much feminism is still NEEDED despite the movements forward we’ve made. When you feel, because you are a woman, you can’t make your own choices about who you are and what defines you… without fear of offending and alienating yourself from society… well, it’s just an indication of how oppressed you really are…
.-= Shauntelle´s last blog ..Rules… pt 2 =-.
Brilliant, Shauntelle: “…When you feel, because you are a woman, you can’t make your own choices about who you are and what defines you…it’s just an indication of how oppressed you really are.” It’s our ongoing internal – and external battle, isn’t it?
Brilliant. And thank you.
I am similar to Helen – the word Feminism had different meaning for me in my younger years than it does now.
I used to think myself a feminist because I was all about getting away from the traditional “women’s roles” – I wanted a career, I wanted to prove myself as good as any man. I wanted equality for all and stood tall on my “soapbox” shouting at the world.
Then, God gave me a son who was the greatest “thing” that ever happened to me. I had not planned on being a mother, that traditional “woman’s role”.
The word has such a different meaning to me now – it is about empowering women to be all they can be, whatever that may be! It is about accepting our faults and trusting in our gifts as women. We have so much to offer the world – it is giving us permission to give! to BE!
.-= Shawna Cevraini´s last blog ..Easter Faith in Family =-.
Beautiful! And love the connection to what it means to be the mother to a son! I think about it all the time as the mother of daughter’s but love, love, love that this experience has compelled/propelled/strengthened your experience of what it means to be a woman, an empowered woman, a “so-much-to-offer-the-world” woman. Thank you, Shawna.
What an interesting question and such powerful responses. My response comes from not only a childhood with powerful women and my own coming of age in the late 1960′s–but most from raising my own children. When explaining the Suffrage Movement to my ten year old daughter in 1990, it was wonderful to see her horrified to know that her great-grandmother was an adult before she was “allowed” to vote. Ten years later, when she was in high school, “feminism” as a school assignment came up with all its loadedness. Again I gave her what it meant to me. Women making the statement that they, we, are human beings with equal opportunities, diversities and foibles.
And now my last child is in high school. “Feminism” still carries its loadedness. But for children like mine, politically aware, outspoken, active, the term almost seems to have become slightly retro.
When asked what being a feminist means to me by each of my children, I have always responded with this analogy: Science has taught us that the average male is physically able to lift greater weights than the average woman. An elephant is documented as physically able to lift many times greater weights than the average man. Obviously this has nothing to do with intellect, reasoning ability or social conscience. Hmmm.
I am again struck though when I see the term being raised in controversy. Why is it, after all these years, such a loaded term. I see the answer when I read the responses above. Shawna’s last line says it: “…it is giving us permission to give! to BE!” Women are still seeking “permission” to think of themselves and be perceived of as equals. Women are still shrinking from terminology that may be construed as strident. Women are still allowing themselves to be considered second.
Frankly, I thought we cleared this up in the early 1970′s. But then I also thought we dealt with any kind of discrimination. I am daily reminded that I was incorrect.
So for me, I will continue to be a feminist. Just as I will continue to be a woman, a mother, friend, wife, daughter. I can only hope that there is a future where we look to our fellow human beings as just that. Other souls on the road of life.
.-= Julianne Fuchs-Musgrave´s last undefined ..If you register your site for free at =-.
So lovely, Julianne. I am deeply grateful for both the context you’ve created (within your own story) and the framework you’ve developed (and lived) that helps all of understand both the controversy and our frustration that such still exists. It is a paradox: the very thing which should be a “given,” continues to provoke response…which then reminds us that it’s not a “given.” Round and round we go. In the midst – small and sometimes fantastic movement forward and always amazing conversation. I’m grateful to be in the mix.
the instinctive response is “thank God she’s not afraid of saying who she is.” there are so many women who fear the label of feminist, and i love it when women (and men) embrace and express that they value this identifier.
It’s such a conundrum to me – the “label” and its negative connotations when, as an identifier or definer itself, it’s, of course, what all of us would accede to and agree with. The stereotypes and persona’s seem to dominate, though. More work remains. Good conversations. Extended grace. Thanks for stating this, Deidre, and for being here! I’m grateful.
Today there’s a post that asks, “What does feminism mean for you?” on the Gender Across Borders blog. Here’s the link: http://genderacrossborders.com/2010/04/21/feminism-definitions/
Thanks, Bonnie!
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