We only have to edit a couple of letters and everything changes.
Feminism
Feminine
Literally, two letters changed from the first word to the second. But our perceptions? Our opinions? Our responses and reactions? Miles and miles apart.
Yesterday I posted on the first word: feminism. I didn’t talk about my own perspective; rather I asked for yours. For those of you who commented via the blog and via email, thank you. For those of you who did not, please consider doing so still. I’m compiling what I hear and want your voices to inform my thoughts and of course, facilitate amazing, ongoing RENEGADEconversations! Always conversation.
What if I had asked for comments on the first word: “feminine?” Totally different deal, right? It feels important to ask ourselves (and for me to ask myself) what that’s all about.
I definitely have my own reactions and responses to the word “feminism” (another post for another time). But what might surprise you is that I also have such for the word “feminine.”
I don’t self-define as feminine. It conjures up imagery of things soft, pink, frilly, and yes, sad-to-say, weak. I know better; but still, these are the words that flit through my mind. I can refute them. I can choose to think differently, but I can’t ignore that upon impulse, these are the reactions and responses that spontaneously come to me.
I find this odd, really, because I am definitely feminine (even though not so pink, and frilly).
What this tells me is that I have stereotypes in my head (Aaaaugh! Say it ain’t so!!!) that are connected to the word itself. And these stereotypes are not benign. They connect to emotion, to memory, to judgment…to response and reaction. It feels important to ask ourselves (and for me to ask myself) what that’s all about.
But finally, I came across a definition of “feminine” that caused me to say “Yes!” not “Ick!”
Feminine is a force to be reckoned with–sheer womanpower. They are nurturing, inclusive, and intrinsically and actively compassionate. Midwives and caretakers of ideas and community, Feminine is sought out for guidance, inspiration, and comfort. In full bloom, she has a great sense of adventure, as well as a healthy balance of responsibility. Feminine regularly exercises her prerogative to change her mind, start over, or wait it out. Sometimes Feminine can struggle with excessive or repressed emotion, thereby denying herself and those around her the full richness of her significant power. Feminines’ holistic, often metaphysical perspective on life honors spirituality as the key to fulfillment. By far, Feminine’s greatest gift is her intuition. Her ability to sense the truth of what’s happening or what is to come is an incredibly effective tool for creating desirable realities.
My purpose in this post is less to debate the finer points of feminine; rather to create a context in which we acknowledge our stereotypes – those gut-level, instinctive responses and reactions that occur when we hear particular words. Like “feminine.”
Or like “feminism.”
My purpose is to wonder – for myself and with each of you – if maybe there isn’t a definition for “feminism” that enables the same “Yes!”
I hope so.
SUBSCRIBE to my Monthly Newsletter. SUBSCRIBE to the Blog via Email or your Kindle. LIKE me on Facebook.
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
I had stopped myself from reading this latest post until I first opened, read, and gave you feedback about the word feminism.
Here’s my reply to this new post. I’ve never define feminine as soft, pink or frilly that is “girly” to me.
I LOVE THAT DEFINITION OF FEMININE!!! LOVE, LOVE, LOVE IT!!
BE.YOU.TI.FUL!!! ~ Renee
p.s, yes we all have stereotypes that are hard to change until we find a new meaning or until we have a new experience which changes our perceptions.
Again, thanks Renee. SO glad you’re here. And SO glad for the BE.YOU.TY you bring!
As I just mentioned in the previous post’s comments, this word too, has a different meaning for me now than it did “then”.
I used to think of this word as everything I didn’t want to be. Everything I wasn’t. As you say “pink and frilly” – yuck!
However, now that I am older and have a daughter, this word too, has a completely different meaning for me. First of all, my daughter is feminine, not in the pink and frilly sort of way, but in the way that is defined above. She is able to find beauty in all things. She is full of adventure and emotion and dreams. She often changes her mind because she wants to do everything, be everything for everyone. She is so much like me.
That is what happened to change my mind about the word. My little mirror, right there in front of me. Showing me that it is ok to be feminine. To be nurturing, to be forgiving, to be compassionate. To love with all my heart and soul. To put my heart on my sleeve for all the world to see. That is what feminine is to me now.
.-= Shawna Cevraini´s last blog ..Easter Faith in Family =-.
Isn’t this interesting? Your experience of “feminist” changed with your son and “feminine” with your daughter. I love that! Again, thank you, Shawna!!!
Such an interesting observation about the difference 2 letters makes!
I do resonate with the definition of feminine. When my daughter was young (less than 7 years old), she loved pink and frilly. Definitely her choice. Then she completely rejected pink and frilly, because it suggested weak. She is strong, opinionated, clear, direct, fearless AND feminine (applying the above definition).
As she makes her way in the world, she is clearly on a mission to make a difference. One of the related words that we’ve observed also generates a reaction is Feminist. Another 2 letter difference that carries many beliefs and perceptions.
Thanks for creating this conversation!
Thanks for being in the conversation, Peg. Yes…maybe today’s post should be the next two-letter iteration: feminist. Hmmm.
I LOVE that definition of feminine. It makes a very big difference seeing it through that lens.
“Feminines’ holistic, often metaphysical perspective on life honors spirituality as the key to fulfillment.”
That one line is loaded with juicy, passionate reality for me. I may have to steal it as my tag line.
It IS lovely. And so, so true! Juicy. Passionate. Worth stealing, Angie.
I have never identified negatively with feminine. I readily identify with that word but not in a pink frilly way. I do LOVE the definition you have!
.-= Nicki´s last blog ..Ed Tech Day =-.
{ 1 trackback }