I realize that if I wait until I am no longer afraid to act, write, speak, be, I’ll be sending messages on a ouija board, complaints from the other side.
(Audre Lorde, poet, writer, activist, and educator)
I have been thinking about my fears lately – some that I can name and some that I cannot. They’re insipid, really. They keep me from living boldly, out-loud, honestly, authentically, fearlessly. And frankly, I’ve no time for that!
I have also been wondering, even in the last couple days, what it would be like to just shove my fears aside – like an unwanted vegetable on my plate. They’re still there, but I don’t intend to consume them, be impacted by them, or choke them down.
In conversation Monday with an amazing sage, I was encouraged, no…outright told…to move on, to let this stuff go, to stop spending my time trying to figure out the “why’s” of my fears, and instead to just set them aside and get on with it! Just like the vegetables on my plate: I don’t muse about why I don’t like them. I just know I do not. I move them over and head for meat!!
Another amazing advocate of mine is tackling her fears in a different but equally profound way: she’s naming them. She’s listing (and then blogging) about the 100 things she fears. Her belief is that in naming we decrease their power – we see them for what they are and then have strategic, deliberate ways in which to acknowledge them and move forward. Not to totally drain the metaphor dry, but this reminds me of dinner time at my house. I have one daughter who, like me, is not a huge vegetable fan. Many times I have tried to disguise them, to chop them up finely, to dump them into soups or stir-fry. But she wants them named! Given that I won’t let her push them to the side of her plate, the only way we can move forward is if they are out in the open and acknowledged for all their disgusting-ness. Just like our fears.
Audre Lorde gets it out in the open, acknowledged, named. And she is right: I cannot wait until I am no longer afraid to act, write, speak, be…And I need to do the same thing. Enough already!
Fear needs to be named and/or fear needs to be pushed aside. Either way, I need to just be! Right now!
I’m off to eat vegetables (or not), to name and/or push aside my fears, and to act, write, speak, and be – fearlessly! Right now! Join me?
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{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
Thank you so much for sharing about my 100 Things I Fear challenge! It has been so powerful to look the fear right between the eyes & consciously decide what to do instead of allowing it to run the show unknowingly. Plus taking small, consistent steps has changed my life. woohoo!
.-= Coach Cassandra Rae´s last blog ..Welcome Video =-.
You’re more than welcome, amazing and (increasingly) fearless woman!
Sounds like you had a great fire starter. I just had a session with Danielle a few weeks ago and have also been contemplating fear and my desire to live more fearlessly. I wrote about it here: http://infinitelearners.com/photo-friday-fearless/
Glad to find you in the blogosphere.
Oooh, Hillary! So great – my time with Danielle! I’m hopeful yours was as well. ‘Looking forward to getting to know you! Thanks!
Secrets and fears are the only things I know besides mushrooms that grow in the dark. * I think they grow in thedark* but you get my gist! The get weaker in the sunlight and speaking your truth, even if its to name a fear makes you stronger. I adore Audre Lorde and I leave you with my favorite quote from her:
I am deliberate and afraid of nothing.
Blessings,
Desiree
.-= Desiree Adaway´s last blog ..Storytelling: No Campfire Required =-.
Love this! Love that amazing sage advising you in this way!
Eleanor Roosevelt told us to “do one thing every day that frightens you.”
My first time on stage? Terrified!
My first presentation at work for the ‘powers-that-be’? I hurled before the presentation.
My first photo shoot? I started it out with my hands shaking so much that the first few shots were unrecognizable.
Sometimes we need to name it and work through it. But often, the fear means it’s something that’s important to us. It’s something we want, it’s something we’ve dreamed of. We don’t get rid of the fear. We can work through some of it, sure. But it’s always a part of life in some place, on some level.
It’s what we do with it. That’s the difference.
So you rock on, Ronna, because I know you’re about to make some amazing things happen. And I, for one, can’t wait to see it. (And am inspired by it.)
Thanks for the great post!
All the best!
deb
.-= Deb Owen´s last blog ..you can’t improve what you don’t measure =-.
Thank you, my friend. You have no idea how much your encouraging and fear-reducing words mean to me!!!
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