In my end is my beginning.
(T.S. Eliot)
Today is filled with endings. It’s the last day of November. It’s the last day of NaBloPoMo. And it’s the last day of my 48th year.
As these 365 days draw to an end, I am aware that they have been full. Of much change. Of much transition. Some wanted. Some not. But as usually happens, when I step back far enough to reflect, even that which has felt scary, unsettling, and even grief-filled has offered its own gift and grace.
As these 365 days draw to an end, I am aware that there have been some in which I felt hope-less…But as usually happens, they have passed. Even though ambivalence, struggle, and ambiguity still exist, hope trumps and has offered its sweet and consistent comfort and companionship.
As these 365 days draw to an end, I am deeply grateful. For newly found creativity. For direction. For freedom. For old friends. For new friends. For my home. For my beautiful daughters, Emma and Abby. For love. For amazing conversation. For renegade women. For an amazing man. For books. For blogging. For Twitter. For Facebook. For my past. For my future. For laughter. Even for struggle.
As these 365 days draw to an end I am aware that I’ve spent them doing what matters most to me: Showing up. Being present. Telling the truth. And living out loud. Those realities are to be celebrated. I add to them the beautiful white and red roses from my daughters along with their insistence that tonight, of all nights, I eat an entire Big Mac and large fries (vs. my normal fruit and yogurt parfait), and I realize that the end of 48 invites me powerfully into the beginning of 49. I am filled with anticipation, expectation, determination (McDonald’s food) and yes, always, hope.
As these 365 days draw to an end, I am ready for beginnings. Bring them on.
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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
this is so wonderful, ronna.
it is all one big circle, beginning and end and back to beginning, and your thoughtful, gorgeous words evoke that stunningly beautifully.
.-= Lindsey´s last blog ..Bearing Witness and Pushing Through =-.
Thank you, Lindsey. Yes, always a circle; never a straight line. ‘Often feels like wandering, but eventually brings me “home” again. I’m grateful.
Enjoy your 49th year!
.-= Nicki´s last blog ..Homily Sunday =-.
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