I am a relative newcomer to Twitter – particularly active in the last 3 months or so. And through such I have met some amazing people. One has guest-blogged for me, others have commented on my posts, still others have emailed me directly with their perspectives, thoughts, and questions. There are some with whom I connected via other contexts, but now have added tweets as an additional form of communication. And there are people I don’t (or at least didn’t) know at all, but who “follow” me – or whom I “follow” – and who somehow, mysteriously, beautifully, powerfully, are now part of my world.
Here’s why I say to not underestimate these relationships. This morning I got up to find the following Tweet in my queue:
Mention u: List of 8 People You Should Know at ‘beyond 8 Hours & a Lunch’ on October 8 (it’s a sign): http://bit.ly/bvChR
Translation? Deb Owen, an amazing and highly experienced personal/professional coach, is telling me (via twit-speak) that she’s mentioned me in her blog post. It’s title: do you want to be happy? here’s the key. It’s well-worth reading, first because it’s well-written, offers meaningful content, and is just all-around good stuff. But second, because she makes manifest the very thing I’m talking about: the beauty and power of relationships.
I definitely want you to go to her site and read this post yourself, but here’s a taste:
Studies have shown some common traits among people who report high levels of happiness. The happiest people surround themselves with family and friends, they don’t care about keeping up with the Joneses next door, lose themselves in daily activities and, most important, forgive easily.
It’s true. The happiest people spend the least time alone, and they pursue personal growth and intimacy.
Other studies have shown the impact that relationships have on health. Do you know that smokers who have close relationships in their lives still live longer than those who eat well and work out but are lonely? Yep. Eat broccoli alone and you still are shaving years off your life. Disclaimer: this is not intended to encourage smoking in any way. Just to be clear.)
So, since relationships are key to happiness, I want to tell you about some awesome people that you could get to know:
And then guess who she introduces?!? Me (and 7 others)!
OK. This is beautiful and powerful, don’t you think? I don’t know Deb personally. I’ve “met” her only through Twitter. We’ve had one email conversation (thus far). And yet she graciously chooses to point folks toward me as one of the “awesome people that you could get to know.”
I’m deeply grateful, of course. Just today, I have had more tweets from people that I’ve never met, because Deb chose to reference me both on Twitter and via her blog. One woman (@desireeadaway) said this: Hi @RonnaDetrick. @ DebOwen says that you are someone I should know….and she is super smart, I have no choice but to follow her advice. Another, also mentioned in Deb’s blog is now a new Twitter “follower” of mine – and me of her!
In addition to being grateful, I’m super-intrigued. There’s something beautiful and powerful about this virtual relationship thing. And there’s something about it that I want to explore…the idea of how it might/could/should be mirrored in our real relationships. Too quickly, the critique of the internet (and social media specifically) is that it takes us away from real relationships; that we spend more and more of our time isolated at our computers and connecting to people that could be telling us anything (and selling us anything) with no reality to back up their claims or their persona. But I’m not so sure. I think these virtual relationships can too easily be underestimated; that they have beauty and power in and of themselves, but more that they serve as a powerful teacher.
I’m still formulating my thoughts around this so stay tuned for the forms and vehicles through which I step into this topic. But for now, just look again at Deb Owen. She has not underestimated the beauty and power of relationships. She has demonstrated such. She has invited such. She has nurtured and flourished such. And my response, of course, is to offer the same in return – in gratitude, in reciprocity, in affirmation and blessing.
That’s beautiful and powerful.
That’s relationship.
And that bring me much hope.
Thanks, Deb.
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{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
Well now I feel so humbled (and still happy).
Thank you so much for all the kind words.
My personal take on the online versus real relationship thing is that they work in much the same way they do in the real world. Hang around long enough and you learn who is genuine and who isn’t.
In many ways, I’ve seen the internet do great things for those who have reached out to people and found those of ‘like-mind’ (in good ways) that they couldn’t find close-by, thereby enriching their lives.
As for me? I’ve gotten to know (and sometimes meet in the real world) some pretty amazing people.
People like you.
I didn’t expect the response that post got today. But I am certainly grateful for it. Relationships really are key to happiness.
Thanks again for this beautiful post.
All the best!
deb
.-= Deb Owen´s last blog ..do you want to be happy? here’s the key =-.
Mmmmm. Thank you!!! And definitely more conversation ahead (at least for me) about this virtual/real tension. I’m with you: it’s less disparate than we think (I think) and I’m SO intrigued to think this through a bit more and then wonder/imagine/create ways in which the two might be bridged!!!
hey Ronna, i’m one of these people that’s started following you on the advice of deb, and i barely even know deb! the beauty of twitter is it allows you to connect to people with similar interests SO fast because people like Deb talk about people they’ve connected with so well, and are inspired by etc, so that people following her because of her interests and loves are able to find more!
i think i found @debowen via my friend @jackiewalker but i can’t honestly remember, but who cares? i’ve still found someone interesting to follow (and a blog to read!) who’s leading me to more interesting people. its networking without it sound so dry and impersonal, becuase thanks to twitter, and blogging, we can communicate meaningfully with all these amazing people all across the globe
@solobasssteve is always raving about how great twitter is, and its his doing i’m on the thing, so i’d heartily suggest that anyone check him and his blog and music out
So glad you’re here! And yes, Deb is awesome. I’m SUPER grateful for her post, certainly, but more, her friendship. A lovely, lovely thing.
ah its @peoplemaps i know @debowen through, but check out @jackiewalker anyway!
Ronna,
I love this. I think about it a lot – in fact in some ways aren’t virtual friendships MORE real, since they are formed without all of the “screens” we might use in the real world? We relate to people through the truest expression of who they are, in their words, rather than any more superficial qualities?
Lindsey
http://www.adesignsovast.com
I’m so intrigued by this, Lindsey…the “more” real aspect; and I think that there’s something we can learn from the virtual ones then apply to our real ones. There’s something about our vulnerability and honesty that shows up online that we might want to wonder about in face-to-face contexts. I need to formulate my thoughts and ideas around this, but I’m definitely thinking more and more about it…as well as how to invite a larger conversation (virtually and really). Thanks for your comments…Appreciated!
Awww. You guys are making me blush!
Lindsey, I often wonder about the ‘more’ real thing myself. Because there’s so much more to me than people see online, you know? At the same time, I think that, for me, it’s pretty much the same on- and off-line except that I’m probably a little more vulgar offline. ha
All the best!
deb
.-= Deb Owen´s last blog ..you say you want a revolution (a body revolution) =-.
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