Comments on: Desire: cruelty or kindness?

By: Kelly

Kelly — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 15:12:10 +0000

Thank you, Ronna! That reply clarified some things for me. “I’m advocating for out-loud, truth-telling lives – full of risk.”. ME TOO!

Though I failed for a long time to believe in love or my own spirit, I never failed to desire it. And I think that is what you are saying.

In the end, of course, I found it, and more of myself along the way.

By: Ronna Detrick

Ronna Detrick — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 14:35:50 +0000

So beautiful, Shauntelle. Thanks for articulating all of that here. Indeed, it’s a sort-of wizened return to innocence – to the belief that what I desire is justified, assumed, and worth pursuing. Always, always easier said than done. Always, always with cost. And always, always with powerful reward. Thank you.

By: Shauntelle

Shauntelle — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 13:55:50 +0000

I think the more heartbreaks and disappointments we experience, the harder we struggle with accepting our desire as “in and of itself, is always good” and the more courage we exhibit when we listen to our desires.

When I was younger (more innocent) I didn’t question my desires, I didn’t have any sense of a need to question them, to constantly wonder if I was wanting too much or the wrong thing or if my desires were unrealistic. I just innately believed that if I followed my heart, everything would work out. Wisdom, I suppose, is learning how to follow that call of your heart (that bone deep desire) even knowing that everything may not work out… at least, not the way you think you want… but knowing, even more so, that everything WILL work out in the larger sense. Because even though following the lure of my desires has sometimes led to hurt and unrest, each time I find the courage to enter the quest, I gain a stronger understanding of myself and my own strength. I also learn what truly matters to me.
.-= Shauntelle´s last blog ..Just feel… =-.

By: Ronna Detrick

Ronna Detrick — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 00:04:42 +0000

It’s a fine line, right Kelly? Of course, we don’t want to have to bear heartbreak every day – nor are we called to such. But for the sake of dramatic comparison, it makes the point: love matters…experiencing it matters…continuing to desire it (which is where I was going) matters. And I’m so totally with you on the recovery component. Though in my case, I was the one who chose to end things, to ask the other to walk away, to choose to recreate family and life, the grief and heartbreak occurred for YEARS before I had the courage and strength to make that decision.

At least in this post, and the one called “Desire is all that matters” what I am speaking to is the part of me that longs for myself and others to remain alive to desire – to want, to hope, to have faith, to love – despite the risks and craziness inherent. What I experience, all too often, is a shutting/clamping down because the prospect of acknowledging desire (or want/hope/faith/love) feels too fraught with risk – and so we live less-than, boundaried lives. I’m advocating for out-loud, truth-tellling lives – full of risk.

(And yes…”desire” defined as the deep-in-your-soul awareness of what you most want and hope for…not the sexual component only.)

Thanks for sharing your own experience and reflection. SO appreciate that – and you!

By: Kelly Livesay

Kelly Livesay — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 20:16:00 +0000

Funny. I have the exact same line copied and ready to paste: “I’d rather know heartbreak every day than never know love” with a completely different response. The romantic/mystic/spirit in me agrees but the human in me, who took nearly 7 long years to recover from true heart-break wonders if we could bear that for a life time. Curling up around someone who know longer loves us. Watching them leave behind home and family to love another. Having to recreate a life you had no desire to abandon.

I wonder if we truly mean that. Heartbreak every day than never knowing love. I suppose it requires defining “love”. If that is the larger expanse of love, maybe. I still don’t know. And this is coming from a very peaceful, healed place.

And by desire you mean the wanting of anything, correct and not sexual desire only?

Thanks for writing, Ronna!
Kelly