Suddenly, through birthing a daughter, a woman finds herself face to face not only with an infant, a little girl, a woman-to-be, but also with her own unresolved conflicts from the past and her hopes and dreams for the future…. As though experiencing an earthquake, mothers of daughters may find their lives shifted, their deep feelings unearthed, the balance struck in all relationships once again off kilter.
(Elizabeth Debold and Idelisse Malave)
In the context of this past weekend’s reunion, I was telling the story of my daughters’ birth, their lives, the amazing young women they are becoming. He spoke of his two sons, the stories of their birth, the amazing young men they are becoming. We laughed. We listened. And I remembered – again. Sheer gift.
It’s not that I forget, but sometimes I definitely get distracted. I need to remember: my daughters, Emma Joy and Abby Evangeline, have changed my life. And they continue to. Each one – powerfully different from the other – offers me such joy, such turmoil, such hope, such challenge. Every. Single. Day. Sheer gift.
And I love them. I would not trade the angst for anything. I would not trade the sorrow for anything. I would not trade all that I know is yet ahead for anything. Nor would I let go of one lovely memory, one pink outfit, one curly lock of hair, one first-smile, one first-step, one first-word, one “I love you, Mommy” for anything. Sheer gift.
In them I see myself, and I am healed. And I am not the only one. Yesterday, Lindsey blogged about her son and daughter and their questions (translate: answers) about Christmas. It’s a must-read – whether you’re a parent or not, but especially if you are. She captures beautifully, sacredly, transcendent-ly, the gift of children – and for me, of daughters. Grace personified, offered, embodied, healing, healing, healing. Sheer gift.
Not the most eloquent or organized of posts tonight, but holding a small portion of my random and rich thoughts from the past hours. I love my daughters. They love me. Sheer gift.
Time to go pick them up from their dad’s. Homework. Catching up on the day. Popcorn. Maybe a Christmas movie. And bed. Them. Me. Us. Sheer gift.
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I love that quotation. It was in my college thesis, about the mother-daughter relationship. I’ve been fascinated with this bond forever, and frankly feared that the universe would toy with me (or challenge me) by ‘giving” me only boys. When my daughter was born – my Grace, my grace – I could not believe it. To this day I am awestruck by the gift she is – there is great angst, and difficulty, for me, in parenting her, but the rewards and startling lessons far, far outweigh those.
Thank you for sharing this.
Lindsey
And I would venture to say that the rewards and lessons you offer Grace are more than significant as well, Lindsey. Thank YOU!
Ronna, I love this reflection, especially in this season of giving, on the gift that our children represent in our lives. I am the mother of sons, very young ones, but already I live my life in awe of their ability to live their lives with meaning, purpose, and grace. They are my reminders of everything I have been and want to be.
And I’m thrilled to see the link to Lindsey, one of my favorite writers.
Thanks so much, Kristen. ‘Love your words: “they are my reminders of everything I have been and want to be.” Beautiful. And yes, beautiful: Lindsey!!
oh Ronna, your writing is beautiful. I have a made a “mental note” to come back and read Lindsey’s blog as well. Your words are timely as Martha and I are ending one-year of writing and working together in a particular way – we are ending towards a new beginning – or so it feels like that to me… – So our blog @ http://www.reimaginedspace.blogspot.com will become something different, something new, something re-directed…a new stream a different flow…thanks for writing, my soul is primed for my December entry…
As always – my pleasure…tinged with much gratitude, Hillary. Can’t wait to wade in the new stream with you.
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