Beauty. Justice. Truth.

I got my hair cut today. I mean really cut. At dinner tonight my husband said, “Whoever has the shortest hair can say the prayer.” I assumed it was him, but it’s me! It’s really cut. And I like it…I think. Anything that alters my appearance this dramatically though, creates a throw-back set of feelings from about 5th grade through nearly the completion college: absolutely certain that I wasn’t pretty enough, would never be noticed – except for someone to stare at and say something cruel about how I looked, and obsessed with the latest get-beautiful scheme reported in Seventeen magazine or the like. It all flooded back today. Yuck.

I walked past windows or mirrors today and was instantly 12, 13, 15, 18, 20. Not happy memories. I cannot escape the voices of my past – no matter what I actually see when I catch a glimpse of my reflection. Yuck.

I have two young girls, ages 9 and 7. Will they experience anything similar? I suppose, to some degree, it’s normal (though awful), at least in this culture. But I also hope that the amount of affirmation I give them about their beauty – inside and out – is enough to at least begin to tip those scales. I could be veering too far, but I’m determined that they will be confident about who they are, how they look, and how much worth they have to offer.

It’s an uphill climb, I know.

Although the role of our desire for beauty is to move us toward the good, in a culture saturated by photography, video, and digitized images, this function of beauty is lost…The pursuit of beauty is no longer about seeking what is just and true but about oppression, the message that we are never good enough. (Lilian Calles Barger, Eve’s Revenge)

I like my hair cut. But there’s something far more important here than what I see in the mirror. Or is there? An understanding of beauty is at stake – and not just mine. I deeply desire to raise daughters who understand the pursuit of beauty as Barger articulates: all about justice and truth. That means that’s what I need beauty to be about for me, as well.

So…less belief in the messages of old memories, Seventeen magazine (or People, or Good Housekeeping for that matter), more time with my beautiful girls, and a commitment to a Text and a God that invites, creates, and speaks a beauty beyond measure – always full of justice and truth. Isn’t that beautiful?

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