I often listen to music that reflects my mood. For the past few days I’ve cycled through Alanis Morissette and The Flavors of Entanglement. Go ahead. I know you’re doing it anyway: interpret away.
Regardless of my current emotional state or the day-to-day stories of my life that have me singing songs like Straitjacket, Versions of Violence, Not as We, and Moratorium, I was stopped in my tracks when I came across #11: Incomplete. I hit “repeat” three times before moving on.
Maybe you can understand why:
…One day, my mind will retreat
And I’ll know God
And I’ll be constantly one with her
Night, dusk and day…
Ahhh, the respite in my mind when I can imagine and even visualize/actualize retreating and knowing “one” with anything/anyone. Ahhh, the respite in my heart when I hear a feminine adjective for God. It’s like this mystical, magical balm for my deepest self. A bright and shining mirror; an ennobling, empowering entity that is like me – not “other,” but intimate.
…Ever unfolding, ever expanding
Ever adventurous and torturous
But never done…
Always changing, growing, aching, loving, hoping, crying, rejoicing, suffering, roaring! What if I accepted the idea that I’m never done? That feels like more than faith. That feels like its reward: salvation. I know it intellectually, but what if I actually incorporated it into my heart, my soul, my very being? I’m never done. I’m never done. I’m never done. What would that be like? Alanis tells me:
…One day, I will speak freely
I’ll be less afraid
And measured outside of my poems and lyrics and art…
No fear. No measuring. No editing. No censoring. My out-loud voice. My inside voice expressed. My roar!
…One day, I will be faith filled
I’ll be trusting and spacious
Authentic and grounded and whole…
Alanis Morissette does faith. Better than most. Alanis offers me a faith that makes sense, that is inclusive, healing, and rich. Faith = trusting and spacious and authentic and grounded and whole. ‘Has nothing to do with doctrine, theology, beliefs, religion. And it still could. Ahhh.
I have been running so sweaty my whole life
Urgent for a finish line
And I have been missing the rapture this whole time
Of being forever incomplete
Missing the rapture the whole time? NO! I don’t want to miss it. I won’t miss it! I don’t want to and won’t miss my own life.
Forever incomplete.
Forever incomplete.
Forever incomplete.
Not a negative mantra; but a positive, beautiful, redemptive, and glorious one. Sounds like something to have faith in: me. The rapture cometh. Thanks, Alanis.
God is smiling. I can picture her now. Ahhh.
Related posts:
{ 2 trackbacks }
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
Thank you so much for this. So many times I feel my faith slipping away, but it’s a post (and song) like this that reminds me what I have to hang onto.
[Reply]
Ronna Detrick Reply:
February 4th, 2010 at 7:05 pm
So much to hang on to Heather. Yourself! Sometimes that’s the best faith we can possibly have, grow, flourish, and hope for! And trust me: I’m preaching to the choir! Thanks for being here, commenting, expressing your heart.
[Reply]
I feel as though that day came for me on January 29, 2009. That’s when I first knew everlasting love and that feeling that I’d reached that place of peace and completeness that many never get to (and that I thought was not meant for me).
And yet, I’ll tell you what: from here, everything resets itself. I’m merely basking in the glory of having reached the starting block! Now I feel a whole different kind of incomplete, and it’s awesome! Always something new, endless possibilities!
Positive Mitch´s last blog ..If you have nothing nice to say…
[Reply]
Ronna Detrick Reply:
February 4th, 2010 at 7:47 pm
Love this, Mitch: “a different kind of incomplete, and it’s awesome.” Yep.
[Reply]
Ooooh, yes… Alanis has been a major influence in my life. Every time she releases a CD, I find that we’re in the same place in our lives.
Thank you for this. It’s beautiful.
[Reply]
Ronna Detrick Reply:
February 5th, 2010 at 7:31 am
Her lyrics are amazing, no doubt. I keep coming back to her in the ebbs and flows of my life. Always moved. Always grateful for expression that I couldn’t come to on my own, or at least in exactly that way. Thanks, Kyeli.
[Reply]
Oh, how I love this and Alanis. Flavors of Entanglement has been the most perfect CD for where I am … and I love hearing other women say the same!
She looks so radiant in this video. Thanks for a gorgeous moment in my day
- Jess
[Reply]
ive always loved her. thanks for the post. once again love your words.right on.
[Reply]
Ronna Detrick Reply:
February 6th, 2010 at 8:12 am
You’re welcome…and…thanks to you, Michelle, and Jess too! ‘Appreciate the comments and the excellent taste in music!
[Reply]
thanks Ronna…wow. Just wow.
[Reply]
Ronna Detrick Reply:
February 6th, 2010 at 9:07 pm
You’re welcome, JPaul…wow. Just wow.
[Reply]