The art of leadership is saying no, not saying yes. It is very easy to say yes.

(Tony Blair)

Make your “yes” a yes. Keep your word. Do what you say you will do. And, for goodness’ sake, say “yes!” Whenever I ask, whenever I want, no matter what…

Saying “no” doesn’t get quite the same credence, respect, or honor:

Just say no. No means no. No! Negatives. But no less positive.

Yesterday someone said “no” to me. I argued – and did not win. And I was a little irritated. But within a few moments, I smiled. There was something both endearing and empowering about that “no.” He stood his ground. He felt no need to compromise or give in to me. My techniques to change his mind did not work. He is strong. I am glad. Sorta. (Still would have like to hear “yes.”)

Here’s the thing: sometimes saying “no” has far more clout, force, and power….when you stick to it. And here’s the other thing: it’s hard to stick to it.

It’s easier to give in to the “yes,” than to hold on to our “no.”

A ‘No’ uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a ‘Yes’ merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble.

(Gandhi)

I have often said (to myself and others) that the things we say “no” to are often more telling and provide more clarity, direction, and insight than what we say “yes” to. I think I’m right about this. But still, something in us (OK, something in me) resists to hearing or speaking a strong and decisive “no.”

Hmmm.

So, for starters, here are 10 things I’m saying “no” to:

1. Working for free
2. Compromising my goddess-ness
3. Endlessly consuming food that does me no good
4. Procrastination on my book-writing
5. Self-doubt
6. Conversations that suck the life out of me
7. Relationships that suck the life out of me
8. Excuses
9. Someday my prince (or ship) will come
10. Fear

It’s easy to say “no!” when there’s a deeper “yes!” burning inside.

(Stephen Covey)

I need to say “no” more often. With conviction. Not for the sake of just saying “no!” but because, indeed, there is a deeper “yes!” burning inside.

Just before I hit “publish” on this post, Danielle’s arrived in my Inbox. A white-hot example of saying “no!” I’m in good company.

And now, just to remind myself:

No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!

Yes.

What do you need to say “no” to? Make a list of 10…for starters. And see what deeper “yes” that just might enable.

Tagged as: commitment, leadership, no, strength, yes

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